He Shines Brightest On His Own

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bond,cat,Chemistry,does not,Hall of Fame,literalism,neon,Nyan Cat,others,similar sounding,warning,well
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His cold misanthropy is just a property of his brain chemistry, I suppose. - Matty Malaprop

A Tail of Two Kittehs

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a tale of two cities,cat,Cats,charles dickens,classic,homophone,illusion,literalism,novel,parody,tail,tale,title
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It was the meowst of times, it was the purrst of times, it was the age of whiskers, it was the age of felineness, it was the epoch of lazy, it was the epic of tomfoolery, it was the season of white, it was the season of dark fur, it was the spring of catnip, it was the winter of hairballs, we had all the noms before us, we had no noms before us, we were all going direct to ceiling, we were all going the other way -- in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received... by mewing incessantly in the superlative degree of howling dog comparison only. - Matty Malaprop

I'm More Partial to Mimicking Magpies

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browser,cat,Command,computer,copy,copycat,copying,double meaning,internet,literalism,option,right click
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... but sadly in good ol' Montucky it's illegal to keep magpies as pets. And no, I'm not making that up. - Matty Malaprop

A Giant Catastrophe

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giant,cat,ass,trophy,catastrophe,homophones,literalism,double meaning
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... and I'm not talking about this stick figure's horrible posture. - Matty Malaprop

This One's Safe For Work!

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magnet,cat,double meaning,literalism
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To be fair, all of my cats are total ladykillers. Unfortunately all of my cats are female, which means I've been bringing home the wrong kind of ladies... - Matty Malaprop