Time flies when you're having “fun.” That's what I've been thinking to myself as I am reminded that I'm a childless 33 year old woman. Here in New York City, my friends have taken longer than most to go on the long and exhausting journey of procreation. My married and coupled friends, though, are starting to pop them out, slowly but surely, and I'm completely mystified. The woman who is making her kid's baby food from scratch every week is the same woman I used to run into at clubs three years…

There’s a market for these?

As a non-parent by choice, I swear that I have absolutely nothing against children. While some childless folk decry the practice of having and raising kids, I believe that we should all just focus on ourselves and do what makes us happy. The only part of child-rearing that offends me is the absolute insanity that some mothers display in their Facebook groups and forums . They are filled to the brim with unhinged anti-vax sentiments, bogus claims about the healing powers of essential oils and br…

Teens are terrifying

Oops

She went from selling a vagina scented candle to fighting for lower income families…

It worked in the moment, but then after the 100th time it starts to feel like maybe it was a bad idea…

It is my belief that parenting is kind of like some antidepressants. The idea of them, especially when advertised on TV, is great: I'm into the promise of less sulking, more action, and a relatively positive attitude. Functioning is something everyone wants to do. The happy-go-lucky advert with its upbeat music is alluring. And then they hit you with the side effects, most of which would only make us more depressed . There's weight gain, loss of sex drive, diarrhea or constipation (sometimes bo…

It's a rough week to be searching for funny parenting content . While Twitter is usually overflowing with cute quips from tired child-rearers, this week has felt a bit more somber. Instead of sharing stories about cute kids and their hilarious failures , many parents are taking to the website to address the Roe v. Wade leak that occurred earlier this week (at the same time as the Met Gala ). Fortunately, we were able to wade through the politics and locate the funny tweets we all need right now…

“Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, the wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me, I lift my lamp beside the golden door!” While Emma Lazarus may not have been speaking of weary parents in her 1883 sonnet, she could have been. The plights that child-rearers face are real: exhaustion, frustration, depression , and sometimes even anger. While these experiences could potentially bring out the worst in people, the…

A+ parenting

We've established that kids are dumb. It may sound mean, but it's true. It's not their fault, though. Their brains are underdeveloped. Wish we had that excuse. All things considered, it's entertaining as hell when kids are dumb. But that acceptable (and sometimes encouraged) dumbness has some competition in that department. Because kids are also weird. They do stuff that might actually be smart but weirds us the hell out. There's also the venn diagram overlap of dumb and weird, like the kid bel…

Being a parent is no easy feat. When I was a kid I fantasized about raising a few kids, injecting their brains with creativity at every turn. Painting. Drawing. Dancing in the living room. Reading them stories that inspire a thirst for knowledge and imagination. Playing silly games and chasing them around. And, of course, some healthy laugh-inducing tickling. Those are the fun parts of being a paren t. They don't make up the bulk of the experience. There's dealing with temper tantrums, lack of…

Stop that

He's going places.

Pets are little bundles of endless entertainment. Twitter user @DustinGrowick recently shared an adorable picture of his cat disguised as a paper towel roll, and the post has inspired hundreds of people to reply with funny images of their own fuzzy masters of disguise. Keep scrolling to see our favorite highlights from the wholesome thread.