... is a lovely Santa hat! - Matty Malaprop

Those eyes... those horrible eyes... probably don't like the feeling of blowing air smashing against them at point blank...?????? - Matty Malaprop

Check out what's fab funny in showbiz, over at ROFLrazzi!

So this one time I was drunkenly trying to Draw Something and my word was Shaq and all I could muster was a long stick figure and I couldn't even draw a circle correctly for his head so I blurred it out and then erased it and then screwed it up again and then dropped my phone so I just obscured the whole image with the word Kazaam. What I'm trying to say is: I'm really, really bad at Draw Something. - Matty Malaprop

Yeah yeah old joke is old yeah yadda BUT COME ON GUYS IT'S A BLUE ELEPHANT-BLOB-THING FLOATING WITH A BALLOON!!!! - Matty Malaprop

Hay now man, just calm down. We both know no good ever comes from being on the lamb from the law. - Matty Malaprop

(yes yes I know it's lam but BAD JOKES ABOUT BARNS AND STUFF LEAVE ME ALONE)