On the job, they're fearless, calculating tactical masterminds. Off the job, they're snuggly wuggly adorable sea critters that I just want to shower with cuddles! - Matty Malaprop

The weight becomes especially pronounced after you've consumed at least 1.21 gigashots. - Matty Malaprop

Gobble down all the Thanksgiving humor you can fit on your plate here!

To be saved is the goalie of all good Christians. - Matty Malaprop

... but I guess that's just the kind of infernal luck she always has. - Matty Malaprop

Strong, mighty, relentless, majestic, glistening and blue.

... oh, you were talking about the falls? I was talking about my ding-dong. Sorry. - Matty Malaprop