Did it hurt, when you fell from the arms of that creepy anthropomorphic pole-thing? - Matty Malaprop

There are no words. I'm dead now. From laughing too hard. - Matty Malaprop

P.S. SERVICE CHIHUAHUAS AREN'T A REAL THING COME ON NOW REESE. - Matty Malaprop

He also took the liberty of polishing Bruce's shoes while he was out. Miss Fancy Pants is a far funner loafer color than black, after all! - Matty Malaprop

I feel like Philip Glass is one of the only neo-classical composers who gets any sort of consistent acclaim... but that's just bullocks in my mind; he's only even a semi-conductor! - Matty Malaprop

And not a one of them complained that day about not having anything to bone. - Matty Malaprop

... but what about slightly skeptical ones? Are those okay to click? - Matty Malaprop

He may seem heartless and cold, but underneath the mask he's just a sad little ginger colt who only wants to be loved. - Matty Malaprop