Why wash your clothes when you can slosh your clothes, is what my mother always told me. - Matty Malaprop

My mom always told me the tug life was a trap. She said there was no long-term appeal for living life on the ropes like that. - Matty Malaprop

I should have known Steamboat Willie ran on something dubious... - Matty Malaprop

It cut my adventuring life short, just like I did that tree with that herring. - Matty Malaprop

And it takes lots of time and a continuum education to fully appreciate its impact. - Matty Malaprop

Oh man, those frosting flourishes-turned-pasties are straight up risque! They really undercut this lady's otherwise oh-so-sweet exterior. - Matty Malaprop

On second thought, please don't answer that... - Matty Malaprop

Q: Why do computer programmers tend to be insomniacs? A: They typically consume far too much java every day. - Matty Malaprop