If you don't take some time every day to simply relax and think, the results your busybody life will have on your mental health could be catastrophic. - Matty Malaprop

And here I thought this was going to turn into yet another Taken spoof. So glad that's not the case! - Matty Malaprop

He may be able to see now at least, but he'll still never overcome the social astigmatism attached to flip-phones in this day and age. - Matty Malaprop

Hyenas and elephant bones, very very darkly toned for me! - Matty Malaprop

I'm not saying it's not an inaccurate recapitulation of the year... I just think it rings a bit hollow, you know? - Matty Malaprop

Henry Gibson says "B*tch please" to your O'Reilly O RLYs. - Matty Malaprop