Twitter Thread

Happy Monday! Are you ready for a new week of cringe? 'Cause there's a whole lot of it on the internet today. Our new favorite facepalm-worthy thread comes from @alpharivelino, an account run by a sexist dude with way too many followers. The thread, which was shared on May 2, suggests that men who lean into their partner during photo ops are weak. Using photos of Hafthor Bjornssen (one of the world's strongest men), Jason Statham, and Kevin Hart, @alpharivelino tries to make his case that posturing determines whether you're a strong, powerful man, or basically a needy simp. Needless to say, people on Twitter did not take kindly to the ridiculous thread, and were very vocal about it. 

If you love Star Wars and are a total coffee addict, boy, do we have a thread for you. Twitter user @ViWiWrites blessed the site yesterday with a pretty comprehensive thread that pairs your favorite sci-fi heroes with what she believes to be their preferred method of making and drinking coffee. It may not be backed by George Lucas, but we have to say these tweets strike us as pretty damn accurate.

As people in the United States are suffer from cabin fever and empty pockets, some citizens and law makers are protesting everything from lockdowns to wearing masks. Most medical experts, including the esteemed Dr. Fauci, warn against loosening coronavirus-related restrictions too quickly. They're worried it could lead to more illness, and even worse, death. Nobody wants to take one step forward and two steps back when lives are on the line.

 In response, NPR Investigative correspondent Tim Mak decided to do some serious digging regarding San Francisco's Anti-Mask League of 1918. The Anti-Mask league's moniker is pretty self explanatory. It was a group that rejected the use of masks following the initial Spanish Flu outbreak. After months of keeping inside and wearing masks when they needed to join the outside world, people decided they were over it. Up to 90% of people decided to go maskless. After the city proposed mandatory mask-use, thousands of people calling themselves the Anti-Mask league showed up to protest. As Spanish Flu cases in the California City were rising. Eventually, a mandatory mask ordinance was enacted, and cases (after increasing) seemed to slow down. Still, San Francisco was one of the hardest-hit American cities. The thread is a cautionary tale - and you can read the gory details below. 

Stay safe, and please wear a mask.

Earlier this week we shared some excellent Dungeons & Dragons memes, and today we've got some more D&D goodness for you dice fiends. This hilarious Twitter thread comes courtesy of Dungeon Masters Guild content creator Oliver Clegg. It's a brilliant amalgamation of our favorite game and classic biblical tales. It's the mash up we didn't know we needed, and it's all right here.

Pretty much everyone and their mom has seen Netflix's Tiger King at this point. Lord knows we've covered a lot of Joe Exotic-related memes. But for those of you who didn't know, before the show there was actually a podcast that some consider to be superior to the mini-series.  The podcast was created and researched by Robert Moor, and after the show was released he started a Twitter thread that revealed tons of dirty details we didn't get in the docuseries. We've included the tweets here, but you can get more information on the thread. Prepare to be disturbed.

Many people are frustrated with world leaders handling of the coronavirus situation, but Queen Elizabeth (who, to be fair, has pretty much zero political say) has gone and done some serious good for everyone coping with this disaster. Not in the form of aid, but humor. The Queen made a rare televised appearance on Sunday to discuss the challenges her country is facing with COVID-19. The four minute address was hopeful, but the green dress she wore had a much larger effect on the internet than her message of hope. 

On Twitter, @rockpapercynic started a wild thread of photoshopped images of the Queen in here very meme-able dress. Some of the shops were related to current events and pop culture, others were just straight up stupid. But right now we need all the humor we can get. And if that means preying on old women wearing green dresses, so be it.

As the world struggles to cope with the Covid-19 outbreak, many people are finding themselves without work. But most schools are still in session. This does not mean that things are even remotely close to normal. Dr. Jennifer Carroll, a university professor, shared some sobering stories about what her students are currently struggling with while also trying to excel at their studies. From the deaths of loved ones to constant sixteen hour EMT shifts, these students have the weight of the world on their shoulders. And Carroll wants the world to know - and to cut students a bit of slack at this time. We need more professors like her.

We covered that Triscuit name-origin story the other day, and the internet has already taken that twitter thread and spawned some much funnier shit. Writer Chuck Wendig's spin on the tale is our favorite. It's quite a bit darker than the Triscuit saga, and involves one of our favorite snacks: Doritos. We have to admit that Wendig had us in the first half of the thread (not gonna lie), but things quickly spiral into deliciously unbelievable territory. And right now, we need all the fantastical and stupid tales we can get.

If you're based in the United States, we're willing to bet that you've tried a triscuit. The almost woven layers of crispy wheat wafers are an addictive treat. But what does "Triscuit" mean, exactly? After a charged debate at a party, Twitter user @sageboggs was determined to find out. And after some digging, Boggs shared his discovery with his followers. While finding the historical background of a cracker's name might not seem exciting to some of you, those of us who are in quarantine or lockdown probably feel differently. Bring on the useless trivia, baby.

Dr. Faheem Younus has a couple things going for him right now. He's an infectious disease expert, and he's got quite the Twitter following. He's been using these powers for good as people cope with coronavirus fears. Younus shared a thread recently that busts some common myths about the pandemic, and now he's back with a sequel. Doctors are working on the clock to learn about this illness, and we're glad that one of them is here to share wisdom with us. 

Despite the fact that COVID-19 has been around since November, many countries (and people) are still figuring out how to grapple with the outbreak as it worsens in countries like Italy and the United States. Unfortunately, hospitals stateside are already reeling from Coronavirus cases. Author Evan Siegfried took to Twitter last night with a chilling update from one of his friends who works at a New York City hospital. The nurse describes an alarming situation that's a combination of under-staffing, lack of supplies, and a serious need for blood. We sincerely hope that people stop hoarding medical supplies so that the professionals can take care of the people who really need help.

We're all being inundated with information - and misinformation - regarding the COVID-19 pandemic. Sometimes all the statistics and warnings can feel overwhelming. Dr. Faheem Younus took to Twitter yesterday in an attempt to clear some of these things up. In a Twitter thread, the Maryland-based doctor tackles common myths about the virus, from the claim that Ibuprofen and other anti-inflammatories worsen the symptoms, to concerns about whether or not people can go jogging during this trying time. While some of these seem like common knowledge to some people, it's important that we all stay informed and act responsibly. It's going to be a long few months, and a little bit of education goes a long way. 

As hysterical citizens flock to Targets, Walmarts, and local businesses to hoard toilet paper and hand sanitizer, some seem to forget that the people stocking shelves and managing stores are humans, too. Frustrated grocery store manager @dadopotamus took to Twitter to share his feelings about many COVID-19 fear shoppers: 

"I manage a grocery store.  I gotta say.  You're all giant scumbags."

While the tweet may seem negative, other retail workers joined in to share their experiences, and those of loved ones who are crumbling from the stress of trying to help people get the supplies they need. While of course there are polite people taking only what they need during this crisis, according to this thread there are far more people crying injustice and treating workers like crap. We've included many of the anecdotes in this gallery, but for more disappointment (and some seriously defensive tweets) check out the thread here.

As citizens all over the world retreat to their spaces to flatten the Coronavirus curve, we're finding ourselves missing our usual forms of connection. Some of us can't see or touch our loved ones. The interactions we take for granted at the coffee shop or at a bar are now forbidden. Some people are finding ways around these restrictions: setting up conference call "raves" and video chatting as though enjoying a night out with friends. Even with these adaptive measures, it can be hard to feel "connected" during a crisis like this. But Twitter account @wnrstweets is here with tips on maintaining our humanity and connections while COVID-19 ravages our brains. Stay safe, people, and try to stay happy. 

High School happens at a time where kids are grappling with authority. They feel like they should have some independence, but are consistently being held back by rules. Generally, frustration at lack of independence leads to rebellion. And some kinds of rebellion are worse than others.

Twitter user @deanlines chimed in on a thread about rebellious school pranks with his own story. It's not merely a tale of breaking the rules, it's a goddamn roller coaster that might warrant its own film adaptation. And it's all right here for you. 

The Museum of English Rural Life went viral last month after sharing an adorable story about a mysterious visitor who appeared in their rare bookstore. The trespasser? A bat. As bats don't belong in book archives, the staff worked together to help the accidental tourist safely escape the premises. It's a great storytelling thread, and we're pleased to say it has a happy ending.