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Funny Thread Suggests The Dorito Name Is Some Dark Magic Crap

We covered that Triscuit name-origin story the other day, and the internet has already taken that twitter thread and spawned some much funnier shit. Writer Chuck Wendig's spin on the tale is our favorite. It's quite a bit darker than the Triscuit saga, and involves one of our favorite snacks: Doritos. We have to admit that Wendig had us in the first half of the thread (not gonna lie), but things quickly spiral into deliciously unbelievable territory. And right now, we need all the fantastical and stupid tales we can get.

Funny twitter thread about Doritos name origin, dark humor, chuck wendig | Chuck Wendig O @ChuckWendig like and any other human, has definitely enjoyed ZESTY NACHO TANG Doritos corn chips time time, as well as their alternate flavors like Cool Ranch, Sweet Chili, Spicy Meatball, Hot Tire, and Fresh-Cut Grass. But then thought, where did name come 8:57 AM 3/27/20 Twitter Web Client | asked my dogs and my son and all quarantine but all came consensus s probably doradito, or "golden brown but dogs
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Twitter Thread: Guy Uncovers Story Behind The Triscuit Brand Name

If you're based in the United States, we're willing to bet that you've tried a triscuit. The almost woven layers of crispy wheat wafers are an addictive treat. But what does "Triscuit" mean, exactly? After a charged debate at a party, Twitter user @sageboggs was determined to find out. And after some digging, Boggs shared his discovery with his followers. While finding the historical background of a cracker's name might not seem exciting to some of you, those of us who are in quarantine or lockdown probably feel differently. Bring on the useless trivia, baby.

Funny thread about triscuits | Sage Boggs @sageboggs OK, buckle up wanna talk about Triscuit. Tris cuit NABISCO Baked with 100% Whole Grain Wheat Triscuit ENLARGED T0 SHOW DETAIL SERVING Top with herbed cheese, tomatoes parsley SUGGESTION starts with 3 Simple Ingredients ORIGINAL MADE WITH SEA SALT PER 6 CRACKERS 120 0.5 CALORIES DIETS RICH WHOLE GRAIN FOODS OTHER PLANT FOODS LOW SATURATED FAT CHOLESTEROL, MAY HELP REDUCE RISK HEART DISEASE. | Several years ago at party (BRAG and spotted box
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Doctor Clears Up Some More Coronavirus Misconceptions On Twitter

Dr. Faheem Younus has a couple things going for him right now. He's an infectious disease expert, and he's got quite the Twitter following. He's been using these powers for good as people cope with coronavirus fears. Younus shared a thread recently that busts some common myths about the pandemic, and now he's back with a sequel. Doctors are working on the clock to learn about this illness, and we're glad that one of them is here to share wisdom with us. 

Twitter thread from Faheem Younus about common coronavirus myths, covid-19 | Faheem Younus, MD O @FaheemYounus COVID Myth-busting Thread: To0 many myths floating around. Here's part 2. 1/10: Avoid shipped packages/gas pumps/shopping carts/ATMS or die. Wrong. Coronavirus surface survival is one thing surface causing an infection is another. Wash hands; live life 3:41 PM 3/22/20 Twitter Web App | 2/10 can catch COVID-19 ordering takeout food/Chinese food or packaging food Wrong. COVID-19 is
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Chilling Twitter Thread Describes The Dire Situation At NYC Hospitals

Despite the fact that COVID-19 has been around since November, many countries (and people) are still figuring out how to grapple with the outbreak as it worsens in countries like Italy and the United States. Unfortunately, hospitals stateside are already reeling from Coronavirus cases. Author Evan Siegfried took to Twitter last night with a chilling update from one of his friends who works at a New York City hospital. The nurse describes an alarming situation that's a combination of under-staffing, lack of supplies, and a serious need for blood. We sincerely hope that people stop hoarding medical supplies so that the professionals can take care of the people who really need help.

Informative Twitter thread about how hospitals are unprepared for covid-19 coronavirus outbreak, lack of supplies, medical | Evan Siegfried @evansiegfried Friend mine is nurse at major NYC hospital. Texted her see she's doing with pandemic she had say terrifying. First, she is trained blood pathology, but her whole department has been shifted Coronavirus response. 1/6 They're dangerously short on supplies. Her entire floor, roughly 30 people given two boxes masks total 100 hospital has told them
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Doctor's Twitter Thread Debunks Common Coronavirus Myths

We're all being inundated with information - and misinformation - regarding the COVID-19 pandemic. Sometimes all the statistics and warnings can feel overwhelming. Dr. Faheem Younus took to Twitter yesterday in an attempt to clear some of these things up. In a Twitter thread, the Maryland-based doctor tackles common myths about the virus, from the claim that Ibuprofen and other anti-inflammatories worsen the symptoms, to concerns about whether or not people can go jogging during this trying time. While some of these seem like common knowledge to some people, it's important that we all stay informed and act responsibly. It's going to be a long few months, and a little bit of education goes a long way. 

Doctor Faheem Younus debunks myths about coronavirus covid-19 | Faheem Younus, MD O @FaheemYounus 6/10 tired staying home. Is risky go out run? Go. Run. Jog. Laugh. Just don't do with loads people. Our air isn't contaminated with coronavirus. 9:22 PM 3/17/20 Twitter Web App
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Frustrated Manager's Twitter Thread Reveals How COVID-19 Brings Out The Worst In Customers

As hysterical citizens flock to Targets, Walmarts, and local businesses to hoard toilet paper and hand sanitizer, some seem to forget that the people stocking shelves and managing stores are humans, too. Frustrated grocery store manager @dadopotamus took to Twitter to share his feelings about many COVID-19 fear shoppers: 

"I manage a grocery store.  I gotta say.  You're all giant scumbags."

While the tweet may seem negative, other retail workers joined in to share their experiences, and those of loved ones who are crumbling from the stress of trying to help people get the supplies they need. While of course there are polite people taking only what they need during this crisis, according to this thread there are far more people crying injustice and treating workers like crap. We've included many of the anecdotes in this gallery, but for more disappointment (and some seriously defensive tweets) check out the thread here.

Twitter thread from frustrated grocery store manager about how people are scubags, covid-19 shopping, coronavirus, hoarding toilet paper | dan @dadopotamus manage grocery store gotta say all giant scumbags. 5:51 PM 3/14/20 Twitter iPhone | Mama Wife Concierge @TwoLs60 Replying dadopotamus and @1loriking My daughter works one and is appalled by people screaming at them lines empty shelves. Many co-workers reduced tears over last couple days. Management is now monitoring cash registers calling
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Helpful Twitter Thread About Staying Connected While Social Distancing

As citizens all over the world retreat to their spaces to flatten the Coronavirus curve, we're finding ourselves missing our usual forms of connection. Some of us can't see or touch our loved ones. The interactions we take for granted at the coffee shop or at a bar are now forbidden. Some people are finding ways around these restrictions: setting up conference call "raves" and video chatting as though enjoying a night out with friends. Even with these adaptive measures, it can be hard to feel "connected" during a crisis like this. But Twitter account @wnrstweets is here with tips on maintaining our humanity and connections while COVID-19 ravages our brains. Stay safe, people, and try to stay happy. 

Wholesome twitter thread about staying connected when social distancing because of coronavirus | Not Really Strangers @wnrstweets 1 can create with yourself isolation? Get lost an art form. Is there book been wanting read or write? Create sanctuary within environment and structure time each day dive into something passionate about. 2 can spread kindness without spreading germs? Acknowledging someone's presence with eye contact warm smile, or good deed can help boost camaraderie time feels so
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Rollercoaster Twitter Thread About Vending Machine Heist Gone Wrong

High School happens at a time where kids are grappling with authority. They feel like they should have some independence, but are consistently being held back by rules. Generally, frustration at lack of independence leads to rebellion. And some kinds of rebellion are worse than others.

Twitter user @deanlines chimed in on a thread about rebellious school pranks with his own story. It's not merely a tale of breaking the rules, it's a goddamn roller coaster that might warrant its own film adaptation. And it's all right here for you. 

funny tweets, funny twitter thread about students who sneak into tunnels | Dean Lines @deanlines And opposite room sound proof drum room on other side horse shoe VENDING MACHINE STORE ROOM! And figured if there an access hatch drum room there would be one its mirrror. This one leading an Aladin's cave chocolate and sweets. WOULD BE PERFECT HIEST door locked rock up beneath floor grab as much as can and sneak back out. Only problem had make full length entire horse shoe shaped building get there.
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Cute Thread About Museum Discovering A Bat In Their Library

The Museum of English Rural Life went viral last month after sharing an adorable story about a mysterious visitor who appeared in their rare bookstore. The trespasser? A bat. As bats don't belong in book archives, the staff worked together to help the accidental tourist safely escape the premises. It's a great storytelling thread, and we're pleased to say it has a happy ending. 

funny twitter thread about english museum of rural english life finding a bat in their bookstore book archive library | tweet by Museum English Rural Life @TheMERL Following So found live bat our rare book store thread
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Twitter Thread About Coronavirus Reveals What An Ordeal It Is To Get Tested

As more cases of (and deaths from) COVID-19 are announced, people all over the United States are beginning to panic. In Seattle, where the death toll has reached 6 victims, people are especially nervous. This includes Twitter user @into_the_brush. The Seattle resident, who battles chronic bronchitis, became concerned after showing all the signs of having contracted Coronavirus. Naturally, she wanted to get tested. And that proved to be very, very difficult. Read the story below, and check out more responses right on the thread

Twitter thread from @into_the_brush about how hard it is to get tested for coronavirus covid-19 in seattle, united states, cornavirus deaths | sketchy lady @into_the_brush live Seattle have all symptoms COVID-19 and have history chronic bronchitis. Since work physical therapy clinic with many 65+ patients and those with chronic illnesses decided be responsible and go get tested. This is went. called Corona hotline on hold 40 minutes and gave up. So looked at CDC and Washington public health webs
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Heartwarming Twitter Thread About The Right Way To Address A Transition

As more people feel comfortable coming out as trans, there seems to be more discussion regarding the proper way to handle a person's transition. Are you re-meeting? Is it awkward to ask for a new name? Should it be acknowledged at all? Twitter user and musician Mel Stone managed to tackle this issue by sharing a very sweet story about being accepted by her Indian takeout guy. The story prompted other people to share their own heartwarming transition acceptance stories, and it's brought up a whole lot of happy-cry feels on this beautiful Monday. We've included some of our favorite tidbits from the thread, but you can take in more of the wholesomeness right here.

Wholesome twitter thread of trans people sharing stories of acceptance and support from people in their lives, happy tweets | Mel Stone @melstonemusic person who handled my transition best my indian takeout guy went pick up my order makeup first time he went hey, good see look great guessing name isn't <deadname> anymore | el sr tiene un novio muy bonito @czthemeans Replying melstonemusic my first visit my grandparents post- coming out my grandma just said so youre grandson ive been hearing so
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Train Conductor Goes Full Sherlock On Fare-Evading Passenger

Train travel can be surprisingly expensive - sometimes it costs more than a flight. On a recent rail trip to Edinburgh, Scotland, comedian Ignacio Lopez witnessed a fellow passenger attempt to lie his way out of his proper fare. Unfortunately for the cheapskate, the train conductor (train guard in Brit-speak) was a hell of a lot smarter than expected. 

funny twitter thread about train conductor that outsmarts fare-evading passenger on their way to edinburgh | Later train guard is walking through, checking tickets, and gently wakes guy Can see ticket, please Oh need buy ticket Where going, pal guy glances at his phone Edinburgh Where did get on
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Twitter Thread About Sick Days In The Service Industry Is Depressing As Hell

Most of us have had to or will have to work in the customer service industry at some point in our lives. Whether that be bartending, serving, or working at a grocery store, all of these jobs have one thing in common: virtually no opportunity for paid sick days, which can lead to employees infecting others and even ridicule from management if one dares to take a day off.

Writer Lauren Hough took to Twitter to highlight these problems, and we have to say that it's very informative and 100% worth the read.

And once again, here's a link to some hilarious (yet ultimately depressing) memes about our "wonderful" healthcare system!

Informative Twitter thread about what happens to employees in the service industry when they get sick | tweet by Lauren Hough @laurenthehough don't think people realize many service industry workers will continue going work, cooking and serving food, cleaning houses, and selling respirators, with flu-like symptoms because they don't have paid sick days Even companies do offer sick days, best ever had three. So allowed get sick once year. Unless kid got sick and had use days January
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Genius Thread Reimagines Stereotypical Fantasy Accents

Attention Dungeons & Dragons players and most fantasy nerds: Twitter user @djMalenfant has some important news for you. He's gone and reassigned those tired and cliche fantasy accents. Gone are the Scottish dwarves of campaigns past. In the accent's stead? Distinctly Bostonian articulation. 

Okay, don't panic. You can still botch your brogue. This thread is just for fun, and there's a lot of it. From Texan orcs to motionless radio-voiced elves, @djMalenfant hilariously reimagines the norm. And most people seem to be here for it. We've included highlights from this nerdy thread, but you can take in all the amazing replies right here.

Funny thread about reassigning fantasy accents races dungeons and dragons elves halflings | tweet by Dylan @djMalenfant Hello, everyone reassigning fantasy accents. Please adjust accordingly. Dwarves are Boston now. Please leave poor Scots be. They really don't deserve this
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Roundup Of Completely True Stories That Sound Made-Up

Some stories that exist out there sound like they're straight out of a movie. They can't possibly be true, right? Not so - writer Aidan Moher tweeted out the other day asking people to share their most unbelievable true stories, and let us just say...the people delivered.

Interesting Twitter thread of stories that sound fake but are actually true | tweet by MorganPielli Replying adribbleofink went Meetup people w/ social anxiety see Black Swan got there realized had no idea who there Meetup. Too shy ask around watched movie alone checked Meetup night turned out everyone else did same thing
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Rage Against The Machine Mistakenly Lists Book Shop As Tour Venue, Twitter Hilarity Ensues

'90s alt rockers Rage Against The Machine just announced their European tour, and the London Review Bookshop was extremely surprised to find that the band was slated to play their modest store on August 14th. While some business might simply inform the tour managers of the error, this particular bookstore decided to roll with the hilarity on Twitter. And we're extremely glad they did. The whole debacle turned into a delightful thread filled with book puns, Rage Against the Machine references, and some serious impressive wit on the part of whomever runs the account. We've included the highlights in this gallery, but you can see more of the bookish antics right here on the thread. 

And for you English Rage fans that are worried about going to a show at a prim and proper book shop, fear not: the correct venue is Review Bookshop in Peckham.  Which we hope has planned for the rockers' set. 

Funny Twitter thread about rage against the machine accidentally announcing that they are playing a show at a book shop in london | tweet LRB LRB Bookshop @LRBbookshop BOOKSHOP so rage against machine just announced their european tour dates and were shocked discover apparently they are playing at bookshop on august 14th. first heard having an emergency staff meeting now about can make this work Aug. 2 Raleign, N.C PNC Arena Aug. 4 Washington, D.C Capital One Arena Aug. 7 Camden, N.J
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