answer

Maybe you can give it a good home, Jay. After all, I bet baby Blue Ivy would love to have a P to the Uzzo S to the iSsay around the house to play with! - Matty Malaprop

Oh, come on, don't act like you didn't chuckle at this Capricorny joke! - Matty Malaprop

It's actually refreshing, that question. Everyone just assumes I'm jam or preserves and moves on with it! Do you know how much it hurts to live your life misclassified? - Matty Malaprop

First time he opens his mouth about a white whale, I'm jacking a lifeboat and rowing the hell out of here. - Matty Malaprop

POWER RANGERS teaching kids that violence is always the answer since 1993

PILLS apparently they are the answer

My hat's off to you for this one, Trollbek. - Matty Malaprop

I. HATE. EVERYONE. I hate Cody H less than Matt Piece, but still. Different degrees, same underlying disgust. - Matty Malaprop

You nitwit! I said I was a Capricorn, not a Calculus! - Matty Malaprop

This isn't a breakup between the two of them so much as it's a very very heated divorce, if you ask me. - Matty Malaprop

ALCOHOL IS NOT THE ANSWER but if you drink enough you might at least forget the question

Viagra: It makes Santa go 'round the world. - Matty Malaprop