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answer before burn coffee cool double meaning hipster literalism question sip tongue - 6613020416
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Every veteran hipster knows you don't drink your coffee until you've chain-smoked four cigarettes, duh! - Matty Malaprop

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I was going to say you bait it with greens, but I suppose that works too... - Matty Malaprop

By Unknown
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Tim Kaine, when asked about people who pay no federal income tax, actually answered that he would consider raising taxes on the poor.

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By tonis
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Don't talk about Rule 34 don't talk about Rule 34 DON'TTALKABOUTRULE34DON'TTALKABOUTRULE34!!— - Matty Malaprop

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Quite frankly I'm not convinced he didn't just take the job in hopes of scoring some discounted Tinkerbells. - Matty Malaprop

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By xyzpdq1
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... and that circumstance would be if his name was Fuddyduddy Fop. #HaveIMentionedILoveTheTermFuddyDuddy? - Matty Malaprop

answer double meaning friedrich nietzsche nietzsche nihility nothing philosophy question - 6481468672
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He just gets like this sometimes, but he always eternal returns to form eventually. - Matty Malaprop

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By Unknown
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And now you just look so pensive. Watson your mind, honey? Care to talk about it? - Matty Malaprop

answer conversation double meaning fish literalism question swimmingly - 6321161984
Via Reddit
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I really admire this fish. I've always felt as though it's quite difficult to remain upbeat when every day is packed to the gills with things to do. - Matty Malaprop

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By Unknown
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I ain't even ashamed to admit that. And by that I mean I'm totally and completely ashamed to admit that.

But seriously. Seriously. Click this link. Listen to this song. It will be stuck in your head 5ever. I'm sorry. - Matty Malaprop

If you think One Direction is a terrible band, you're totally Autocowreck.

answer Hall of Fame homophone knight night question scooby scooby doo shaggy - 6233546496
Via Reddit
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They're like Scooby Snacks, only the reeling lasts longer. #ThatOneWasOnTheHouse - Matty Malaprop

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... because that's totally the kind of business an enterprising super villain (hero?) would go into... yeah... - Matty Malaprop

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Let us rumen-ate on where she might have come from, shall we? - Matty Malaprop