answer

A penny? Seriously? Abe might have been an honest dude, but that doesn't mean he wasn't a stinkin' cheapskate. - Matty Malaprop

If I can offer my two cents, I'd say she's kind of being a bad (water)sport about the whole ordeal, honestly... - Matty Malaprop

We'll know more once we get the forensic evidence back from the Lab. - Matty Malaprop

Ernie wasn't complaining about the dessert he was dished up, but that fateful homophonic response was the very thing that kept him from receiving the rocky road he'd so desperately dreamed of having that evening. - Matty Malaprop

I wouldn't be complaining if I were here. Two doctors in one place sounds ever so Dalektable to me! - Matty Malaprop

Pun Coon's Breeding Grounds

And to think he would have said "inside you" if his gaydar had only given off a slightly stronger signal... - Matty Malaprop

Source: Cyanide & Happiness