similar sounding

Every beard-induced hangover I've ever had has been nothing short of a hair-raising experience. - Matty Malaprop

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I mean, what if there's a leak in your engine block? Those chemicals that power your chariot are terribly poisonous, you know! - Matty Malaprop

If you ever move, I'm going to tiramis-u so much! - Matty Malaprop

SPOILER ALERT: HE'S BEEN A GOOSE THE WHOLE TIME!!!11!!!!!1!!! - Matty Malaprop

Electricity may seem like a screwy concept to the scientifically disinclined, but hey, at least it powers your apartment! - Matty Malaprop

The second he starts singing a sexy version of "Happy Birthday" in his native wizard-tongue, I swear to god I'm out. - Matty Malaprop

If the body of Christ were a big, juicy steak, I'd attend church multiple times weekly for communion alone! - Matty Malaprop

In my family, we'd get our ears boxed if we didn't keep track of our belongings. - Matty Malaprop

AYO MANDY DIS FLOCKA. WE BE BLOODIN' CRIPPIN' ALL UP IN THIS TEEN ROMANCE STEEZ AIGHT? - Matty Malaprop

It just goes to show you: nothing good ever comes from infidelitea. - Matty Malaprop