similar sounding

At least Nic Cage seems vaguely conscious of his awfulness. Billy Corgan still seems painfully unaware of his. - Matty Malaprop

Just make sure to take some Tums beforehand, because those whiskers are tantamount to nuclear fallout for your guts. - Matty Malaprop

I see you drivin' round Greendale with Alison Brie, and I'm like... well damnit I can't think of anything Community-related that rhymes with f!ck you. F!CK. - Matty Malaprop

Insert uncannily witty commentary about Wittgensteinean subjectivity and its relation to the above-featured Hollywood heartthrob here. - Matty Malaprop

You'd be surprised how sensical this is. The Fibonacci sequence actually acts as a very accurate measure of the way in which humans eat nachos. First you take one, then another one, then another two, then three, then five... and on and on until the plate is empty and you curl up in a fetal position and start weeping wondering what have you done with your life but more importantly WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH ALL THE DELICIOUS NACHOS. - Matty Malaprop

One thousand internetz to the first person to re-write the cummings poem my title is based on (with correct spacing, obviously). - Matty Malaprop

From the looks of it, I think he kinda wishes he would have too. - Matty Malaprop

Cheer up, emo kid.

I mean, do you have any idea how much it costs to order a custom herring-sized spiked collar!? - Matty Malaprop

What is this? A music video set for ANTS??? - Matty Malaprop

... because, you know, he lives underwater and stuff. Um. Yeah. #WHATISJOKESIDON'TEVEN - Matty Malaprop