sign

arms double meaning fire firearms literalism no notice okay face sign - 5358937344
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All his life he's been engulfed by the pains of discrimination. In college he tried to start a petition to implement firearm protection into his campus constitution, but alas his campaign failed to ignite any interest. - Matty Malaprop

double meaning half arm ICWUDT literalism pointing sign waxing - 6414667264
By xyzpdq1
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... unless of course you're not an amputee, in which case I feel like a big jerk and I'm sorry and I'm going to go kill myself now. - Matty Malaprop

addiction cat catholic Hall of Fame holic misinterpretation mistake nuns sign suffix - 6279802880
Via Bec Hill
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The whole affair turned especially awkward when he found out the nuns were more than a little repulsed by his cat hole licking fetish. - Matty Malaprop

Do you want more feline funny? We haz dat for you here!

double meaning gandalf literalism Lord of the Rings not pass quote school school zone shall sign you you shall not pass - 5858972672
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Seriously, just don't. I can assure you that you definitely DO NOT want to double the Fines of Moria.

double meaning end inglip literalism meme near sign signs SOON - 5207544320
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Sleep with one eye open, Inglip. That's the best advice my mother ever gave me. - Matty Malaprop

By Unknown
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Slippy McGee don't care about your beautification efforts! - Matty Malaprop

excited homophone name sew shop sign so store - 6482230784
Via Reddit
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They're not the kind to nickle and dime you, but they're definitely the kind to needle and thread you. - Matty Malaprop

door compliment sign adorable homophone - 7042485248
By Unknown
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Okay, okay, I see the door... but where does the bull come into play here? - Matty Malaprop