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I was going to say you bait it with greens, but I suppose that works too... - Matty Malaprop

Dude, you really ought to keep a better ion those things! - Matty Malaprop

Quite frankly I'm not convinced he didn't just take the job in hopes of scoring some discounted Tinkerbells. - Matty Malaprop

Can't really blame the kid; last time I got gassed up at the dentist, I walked out of there thinking I was a queen, too. - Matty Malaprop

Did this come from a fortune cookie? If so, I think it would behoove its recipient to take that wisdom to heart. - Matty Malaprop

This isn't a breakup between the two of them so much as it's a very very heated divorce, if you ask me. - Matty Malaprop

I really think -- neigh, I insist! -- you should go see the doctor, Dan. It's not even an equestrian of pride at this point. - Matty Malaprop

... maybe try a search for iLighther and see if that yields more useful results? - Matty Malaprop

Unsurprisingly, the student in question was denied permission to relieve herself. The correct response was "puis-je utiliser les toilettes?" - Matty Malaprop

It could also be a gingerbread woman! But that still doesn't mean it has a soul. - Matty Malaprop