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Can't really blame the kid; last time I got gassed up at the dentist, I walked out of there thinking I was a queen, too. - Matty Malaprop

Feel harder, damnit! That dog is all I have! - Matty Malaprop

He just gets like this sometimes, but he always eternal returns to form eventually. - Matty Malaprop

Q: Why do computer programmers tend to be insomniacs? A: They typically consume far too much java every day. - Matty Malaprop

You're the only buoy I've ever loved. - Matty Malaprop

NO! NO! CTRL + Z!! I was a little heated when I said those hurtful things! I know I ovenreacted, but now that I've cooled off, I want to say I'm sorry! - Matty Malaprop

I'm sure there's another reason it doesn't work in the canon, but that probably doesn't lend itself to a pun as easily. - Matty Malaprop

Punmaster Matt says: "A friend asked me to turn him into a meme..."

Well, it's no epic sax guy, but I guess it'll do in a pinch. - Matty Malaprop

It could also be a gingerbread woman! But that still doesn't mean it has a soul. - Matty Malaprop

Other acceptable answers include: Indie, space, glam, folk, alt, noise and butt. - Matty Malaprop