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answer captain hook double meaning hand literalism question second secondhand twitter - 6541058048
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Quite frankly I'm not convinced he didn't just take the job in hopes of scoring some discounted Tinkerbells. - Matty Malaprop

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question geometry opossum answer lead up apothem longform animal - 7061879552
By Unknown
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A pun of this caliber is by all accounts just absolutely prepossumsterous. - Matty Malaprop

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answer bonus clever endothermic exothermic hell question tldr - 4951699712
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Oh, science jokes... my best friend's engaged to a Biochemistry Ph.D., but I swear to god if I hear the "unzip your genes" joke one more time, I'm going to wreck that highfalutin home. - Matty Malaprop

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question answer talking mushroom similar sounding poo shiitake - 7022663168
Via Reddit
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That kind of behavior indicates to me that this particular fungus was raised with a very poor set of morels. - Matty Malaprop

Anyone know who created this? Let me know in the comments!

cookies delete double meaning literalism mistake question undo - 4828643328
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NO! NO! CTRL + Z!! I was a little heated when I said those hurtful things! I know I ovenreacted, but now that I've cooled off, I want to say I'm sorry! - Matty Malaprop

question queen lyrics song real life bohemian rhapsody David After Dentist quote - 6836200704
By Unknown
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Can't really blame the kid; last time I got gassed up at the dentist, I walked out of there thinking I was a queen, too. - Matty Malaprop

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question paradox pair doctor who homophones - 7122076160
By Unknown
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I'm sure there's another reason it doesn't work in the canon, but that probably doesn't lend itself to a pun as easily. - Matty Malaprop

answer been bin garbage garbage can homophone how question rubbish variations on a theme - 4924309760
By Natalie
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Life is trash. I refuse to keep tolerating all the garbage that gets tossed my way day in and day out. - Matty Malaprop

question answer matches no app store - 6793433344
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... maybe try a search for iLighther and see if that yields more useful results? - Matty Malaprop