misinterpretation

Admit it: You totally thought of the "Pigeon Man" episode of Hey Arnold! after reading this, didn't you? - Matty Malaprop

And then she shouted "BAYER WITH ME!" ... and everyone turned into aspirin. - Matty Malaprop

Ugh, where is Heavy when you need him? - Matty Malaprop

I mean seriously people, this isn't the damn Labyrinth we're talking about! And if David Bowie isn't waiting for me pelvis-out in a beautiful codpiece when I go through a door, well then I don't want to go through that door at all! - Matty Malaprop

Well at least his natural response to your command wasn't simply to bend over... - Matty Malaprop

OF COURSE I WAS TALKING ABOUT FOOD YOU DINGUS! JUST LOOK AT ME! - Kim Jong-un via Matty Malaprop

F@%$ the system! Slide on you crazy diamond! Et cetera! - Matty Malaprop

Well wasn't that just so polite of him to cash out for his crime? - Matty Malaprop

Of course, Superassman is merely his descriptive title. His superhero name? Gluteus Maximus. - Matty Malaprop

In the case of these finger-flairs, they really are a dime a dozen! - Matty Malaprop

"You merely adopted obesity! I was born in it, molded by it. I did not see a treadmill until I was already a man!" - Matty Malaprop

And in this strange universe, I before E except after C takes on a whole new level of relevance and urgency. - Matty Malaprop

If you're going to go around crushing tongues' spirits, you could stand to at least do it with a little more taste, bud! - Matty Malaprop