lolwut

No, seriously, this comic is my life. And my middle name is STEVEN. GET OUT OF MY HEAD COMIC CREATOR!! - Matty Malaprop

Please, someone, Rule 34 this. Don't post it on this site. Don't e-mail it to me. Just do it please, so that I'll know in the back of my mind that it's been done. - Matty Malaprop

Can he please eat Matt Damon at the end of the film? That's really the kind of plot twist I'm hoping for here. - Matty Malaprop

He may look small and harmless, but he makes a monstrous racket when he gets together with his friend C3PO))). - Matty Malaprop

Are you kidn-ey with this pun? - Matty Malaprop

I mean, do you have any idea how much it costs to order a custom herring-sized spiked collar!? - Matty Malaprop

And so these are the Elite Four? OH MY GOD I'M SO GOOD AT THIS POKéPUN THING I'M PATTING MYSELF ON THE BACK RIGHT NOW. - Matty Malaprop

Punmaster Kenny says: "Them Hessians were a determinant of the American Revolutionary War."

Agreed, Kenny, agreed. And while I admire their efforts on the whole, I really do think their whole approach to the conflict was a bit too two-dimensional to be truly effective. - Matty Malaprop

This is as close as I'm going to get to the whole Kony 2012 debacle. And even then, it's only because I'm hungry and this dog looks like f*ing magic to my stomach right now. - Matty Malaprop

It's these kind of jokes that got the whole lot of "Pearls Before Swine" characters Exiled on Main Street to begin with. - Matty Malaprop