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Truly an inspiring story, it was met with critical reception that was almost universally positive. - Matty Malaprop

Next thing you know we'll be decriminalizing recreational wok. - Matty Malaprop

Awwww, cheer up Vlad! You've got a whole day devoted to you, so how could you possibly be sad? - Matty Malaprop

Dear athetits, if God doesn't exist, how me a moth learn innuendo? - Matty Malaprop

Or maybe it's closer to Origamember? - Matty Malaprop

She knows Kung Fu. But you probably shouldn't ask her to show you. - Matty Malaprop

Editor's Note: This video contains foul language, fouler puns, and sexy drunk kitchen shenanigans. - Matty Malaprop

I know it's exciting, but I'm gonna have to ask you to stay in your seat, Ennis. - Matty Malaprop

... but strangely his music seldom feels nocturne-al. - Matty Malaprop

You may be a nigh-unreadable tome of mutilated language, but you deserve fairer treatment than this! - Matty Malaprop