literalism

Tekken really is the Jersey Shore of fighting games when you stop and think about it... - Matty Malaprop

My entreaty is true either way, though I suppose the context is radically altered in each instance... - Matty Malaprop

... and our teacher's chairs, and blackboards, and whiteboards, and desks, and... - Matty Malaprop

Wow, he's really spruced up now isn't he? - Matty Malaprop

In my mind, the bear is actually a weird fauna-inflected Transformer, thus being a crossable bear that is also a bear-able cross. HAYO! - Matty Malaprop

I'll settle for this, I guess. State-dependent memory dictates that I can only function while drunk, so at least taking a few sips of this will help the lightbulb come back on... - Matty Malaprop

... what the Heller just happened on this baseball field? - Matty Malaprop

Pretty cool I guess, but it needs more Bow-ba Fett IMO. - Matty Malaprop

I tried doing this once with my phone, but in addition to being dead, it turns out my battery was also a deadbeat. - Matty Malaprop

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