literalism

Don't be fooled by its adorable exterior, though. This uni-corn is actually a kernel in its nation's army. - Matty Malaprop

Whether an old man or a young one, there's no question that he's always been gary, gary attractive. - Matty Malaprop

Perhaps paradoxically, it happens to be located in Sweden. #OmNomNomSwedishFish - Matty Malaprop

In Soviet Russia, moss always points at you. - Matty Malaprop

Oh, so we're calling it a sport now, are we? News to me... - Matty Malaprop

... which I guess means his first child will be Mini House? - Matty Malaprop

Punmaster lizziepaquette says: "People tell me to get a GRIP, but I just CHALK it all up to this PUNSANITY that's been happening."

Boy oh boy, that stick figure really DOES NOT look good in spandex... - Matty Malaprop

DO YOU WANT TO MAKE MR. WALKEN CRY BY NOT ACCEPTING HIM? DO YOU??? - Matty Malaprop

So it attracts mutts to men like Axe attracts obscene amounts of money to miserable advertisements? - Matty Malaprop

Led Zeppelin >>>>> Rob Zombie AMIRITE OR AMIRITE? - Matty Malaprop