literalism

Seems about right, given the target demographic for the Halo franchise. - Matty Malaprop

I mean, it was cute I guess, but it wasn't like a corgi or a baby basset hound or anything... - Matty Malaprop

He's a pretty good stand-in for all the full-time teachers, but he needs to learn to keep his mouth shut. Mentioning your six-inch around kindergartners is NOT a thing that goes over particularly well with anyone... - Matty Malaprop

Euthyphrootball has never been my personal forté; it always feels like such an athletic trial to me. - Matty Malaprop

... am I the only imagining Schwarzenegger kitten after seeing this? - Matty Malaprop

See the original version of this pun here! Thanks to violetD for the inspiration!

And my parents always told me living on a diet of nothing but Pad See Ew was going to make me a fat loser... looks to me like they just got served! - Matty Malaprop

This is the way the world ends
this is the way the world ends
this is the way the world ends
not with a bang, but alpaca. - Matty Malaprop

See more cute and funny animals at I Can Has Cheezburger!

Maybe I would have kept at the whole "math" thing if my instructions for equations were this punny! - Matty Malaprop

Bruce Wayne was many things, but an art connoisseur he apparently was not. - Matty Malaprop

More superheroes, up up and this way!

Looks like these guys and gals are gonna need to lay pilaf the booze for a while after tonight... - Matty Malaprop

But why is the birdseed gone!!?! - Matty Malaprop

A logical posthumous role for the world's favorite actor-cum-president to take, if you ask me. - Matty Malaprop

That's so Pundit Kitchen.

Just kidding Montana you know I love you! ... but seriously Gallatin Gateway you're like two trucker hats away from a redneck convention. - Matty Malaprop

Just stay away from that lighting guy and I'm sure your probation will go swimmingly. - Matty Malaprop

What if I told you the Jews weren't real, Neo? - Matty Malaprop

I GET IT AND IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE THE GLOBE IS A THEATER IN LONDON HAHAHAHAHAHAHA oh wait that wasn't actually that funny... - Matty Malaprop