literalism

I just hope they don't get too plastered tonight, otherwise I have a feeling the bro who's hosting the party's gonna have to scrape 'em off of each other in the morning. - Matty Malaprop

Their motions on the floor are always very fluid, and concerning their choreography, no one could ever rightly say they faucet. - Matty Malaprop

And this after all his talk of always being a head of the crowd when it comes to being on time. So disappointing! - Matty Malaprop

Unfortunately Yellow didn't read the fine print, which reminds that you'll immediately regain the weight with every seat you take. - Matty Malaprop

Punmaster Facinelli4ever says: "This is what happens when I draw the Nyan Cat during chemistry class, while reviewing for a test. 'Hmm... Nyan cat... cation... NYAN CAT-ION.'"

Meme as mnemonic device? Don't mind if I do! - Matty Malaprop

The site of such a succulent piece of pork just has me Tingling in anticipation. - Matty Malaprop

But it makes the whole "dangling upside down" trick WAY FREAKING COOLER. - Matty Malaprop

It's my favorite song by Prawnye West and Cray-Sea. - Matty Malaprop

Most of them were great while they were giving blood. Except for Lame Pun Coon, who couldn't stop making his O face for some unknown reason... - Matty Malaprop

Some may call it infatuation, but I'm pretty sure it's actually just vertigo. - Matty Malaprop

On a scale of one to 10, this date was a total FAIL.

This one pretty much speaks for itself, so I'll just say UM and leave it at that? - Matty Malaprop

It took us a while to clean up our act, but now your efforts will hamper ours no longer! - Matty Malaprop