literalism

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By xyzpdq1
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A fitting homage to a man who taught us all how to ink differently, if you ask me. - Matty Malaprop

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The music they make just makes me want to put my hans in the air and shoot first! - Matty Malaprop

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double meaning literalism plank plankton prefix suffix ton - 6431822592
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I mean sure, at that point we'll be mixing measuring systems, but I really don't know what I'd do with a plank-ton, you know? - Matty Malaprop

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Via Mamrie
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... or he. I've never fully understood the gendering of Furbies, so... - Matty Malaprop

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Maybe that secret mission wasn't quite so valiant after all... - Matty Malaprop

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But it makes the whole "dangling upside down" trick WAY FREAKING COOLER. - Matty Malaprop

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Punmasters, what is your jam for the day? Mine is "Tracks (Tall Bodies)" by Chelsea Wolfe. - Matty Malaprop

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Via Reddit
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The secret to good parenting, if you ask me, is to paint your ground rules with really broad strokes. - Matty Malaprop

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Because, you know, that would just be ridiculous. Plus I'm pretty sure only 1 percent of the iTunes user base even knows what it means to shuffle by groupings. And I am not a part of that demographic. - Matty Malaprop

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... and now I'm thinking of weird euphemistic meanings for the word "plumage." Gonna go cry in a corner now... - Matty Malaprop

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After all, I was Rowling in my seat in agony after I finished the epilogue... - Matty Malaprop