literalism

And not a one of them complained that day about not having anything to bone. - Matty Malaprop

Sorry guys. I know this joke is pretty darn spineless. - Matty Malaprop

Seriously, Facebook addicts have trigger fingers that could beat Meta Knight on expert mode 10 times out of 10. - Matty Malaprop

Say what you will, but I still maintain the best ever pickup line is "Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?" - Matty Malaprop

I just hope this intrepid cube doesn't melt under all the pressure. - Matty Malaprop

I've heard good things, but I worry this particular piece won't conform to my disCERNing literary taste. - Matty Malaprop

Ugh, you're always such a manatease. - Matty Malaprop

The best part? A literal cat burglar doesn't draw nearly as much police attention as the kind that steals jewelry, so her criminal antics have so far gone unpunished! - Matty Malaprop

See more cute and funny animals at I Can Has Cheezburger!