literalism

When I finished reading this pun, I audibly hyuck finned. - Matty Malaprop

Just when you think all puns are tragically phenotypical, a joke like this comes along and has you wetting your genes. - Matty Malaprop

Some would argue it's the most natural kind of music there is. - Matty Malaprop

Sure, you may be doing it wrong in the world of language, but you're doing it right in The House of Yes. - Matty Malaprop

LOLOLOLOLOL and here you thought I was going to publish an actual computer geek joke LOLOLOLOLOL - Matty Malaprop

He pities the fool who can't make laundry art as good as this. - Matty Malaprop

Oh... I SEE IT'S FUNNY B/C OUTHOUSES AND DEER SIGNS AND LETTER-SHAPE-THINGS. - Matty Malaprop

At least he's not an Offensive Tackle. Then he'd take it upon himself to prove his skills to you. - Matty Malaprop

So this one time I was drunkenly trying to Draw Something and my word was Shaq and all I could muster was a long stick figure and I couldn't even draw a circle correctly for his head so I blurred it out and then erased it and then screwed it up again and then dropped my phone so I just obscured the whole image with the word Kazaam. What I'm trying to say is: I'm really, really bad at Draw Something. - Matty Malaprop

How are we ever going to beat the Huns if our connections keep timing out!? - Matty Malaprop

Does he have a name, Al? I always feel most awkward when greeting nameless anthropomorphic pieces of flora. - Matty Malaprop

It's kind of a catch-22, really. If you don't bet on the headless horseman, you're probably going to get murdered. If you do bet on the headless horseman, your wallet's probably going to get murdered. CONUNDRUM. - Matty Malaprop