literalism

She's always spewing out excuses, and all of them are fluff. - Matty Malaprop

Go cry, emo crane. - Matty Malaprop

Is that an evening shower in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me? - Matty Malaprop

Maybe you'll have better luck gaining exposure if you upload your music to the internet? - Matty Malaprop

Charmander can't even learn Rollout! This pun is a pokétravesty! - Matty Malaprop

... and their baths, and their television time, and their family portraits, and... - Matty Malaprop

CURSE YOU PORK & CARAMELISED CHESTNUT STUFFING I DID EXACTLY AS YOU COMMANDED SO WHY WILL YOU STILL NOT COOK FOR ME?? - Matty Malaprop

Beneath all the bass drops, his songs are all really just hopeless love ballads to one Lisa Simpson. - Matty Malaprop

For that matter, visualizing Windows is also quite the cop out. - Matty Malaprop

But when the joke finally clicked with me, I was all like "yaoi!" - Matty Malaprop

♪ Who the FLAC you think you FLACin' with, I'm the FLAC King, boss / Twenty-one twelve, 180g vinyl rip that's me FLAC'in Rush / I rip 'em tight, there ain't no clippin' (WAT) / my compression's never jacked / my compression's never jacked ♪ - Matty Malaprop

Say what you will, but at least you know they aren't pigs! - Matty Malaprop

ERMAGEHRD! KERMS! - Matty Malaprop