literalism

I mean, it makes sense to keep such a quantity of bills in the fridge though. After all, no one ever wants their assets to be frozen. - Matty Malaprop

I'm so jaded about political humor these days, but I think this one really hits the Marx. - Matty Malaprop

Except maybe they're all still alive but figuring that out would require me doing research and LOL who even has time for that nowadays and also what if I'm an old person like them everybody knows old people can't use computers and LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL-- wait where even am I? - Matty Malaprop

Talk about a man with fists of fusilli! - Matty Malaprop

What, you were expecting a photo of a sick sound system? I ain't got that kind of money! - Matty Malaprop

Even in a post-"Somebody That I Used To Know" world full of Carly Rae Jepsen, Gotye's lasting impression is fairly well undeniable. - Matty Malaprop

... what the Heller just happened on this baseball field? - Matty Malaprop

Just make sure to keep him away from any Eucalyptus products you might sell. That's just bad EV right there. - Matty Malaprop

Nothing screams koality like funny Animal Capshunz!