literalism

The last time I was on morphine, I am pretty sure I started talking to my IV drip bag as though it was Zordon, so this makes PERFECT sense to me. - Matty Malaprop

The flavor is meaty and full, but man oh man does it do awful things to your teeth... - Matty Malaprop

Yes, pasta falsity has levels. DON'T QUESTION ME ON THIS ONE OKAY I'M ITALIAN I KNOW THESE THINGS. - Matty Malaprop

I mean, it makes sense to keep such a quantity of bills in the fridge though. After all, no one ever wants their assets to be frozen. - Matty Malaprop

Especially if it guest-starred Rihanna, amirite? - Matty Malaprop

It's not the derivatives that get you, but rather the sudden STOP sine at the end. - Matty Malaprop

Hmmm... now I'm just wondering the best way to graphically depict rooibos... - Matty Malaprop

I'd tell them to share the love, but I'm pretty sure that violates their moral code as well... - Matty Malaprop

Err... well, aw hail yes, technically. But I know what you mean. - Matty Malaprop

ERMAGEHRD! KERMS! - Matty Malaprop

I'm terribly upset by the whole affair, but I know you only told me because you had the (wilde)beest intentions. - Matty Malaprop

Hive half a mind to contest this statement, but I can't deny the love I feel whenever I look into my honey's eyes. - Matty Malaprop

Source: Pictures and Bad Puns

Punmaster Facinelli4ever says: "This is what happens when I draw the Nyan Cat during chemistry class, while reviewing for a test. 'Hmm... Nyan cat... cation... NYAN CAT-ION.'"

Meme as mnemonic device? Don't mind if I do! - Matty Malaprop

Still better than Papyrus Francisco, amirite? - Matty Malaprop