literalism

OMG U GUIZ IT'S A HORSE-DRAWN HORSE-DRAWN CARRIAGE LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL Okay fine so maybe it's not that funny but I still chuckled so screw all of you! - Matty Malaprop

He's trying to help, but I'm sure Ketchup is going to relish his victory in this race. - Matty Malaprop

This helpful calendar mod is yours to copy for free, no strings attached! - Matty Malaprop

At least he's not an Offensive Tackle. Then he'd take it upon himself to prove his skills to you. - Matty Malaprop

When Jimmy Page is the one not found.

I hope this FANtastic comic blows you away

You're free to think about it I guess, but my inkling is that the whole experience would turn out to be rather Sarlacc-ing. - Matty Malaprop

... because the South is waaaaaaaaaay behind on adopting modern recycling practices. - Matty Malaprop

Say what you will, but at least you know they aren't pigs! - Matty Malaprop

Clearly the writers for this episode didn't do their research. Everyone knows les Jacqueshammers are constantly chain-smoking and are always clad in berets! - Matty Malaprop

I know they were the soldiers of their era, but knights have always seemed sword of condescending to me... - Matty Malaprop

Anyone know who created this comic? Let me know in the comments!

If you can think of an animal, I'm sure the Internet hivemind can manage to lynx it to something punny, no problem. - Matty Malaprop

High expectations are one thing, but date-specific expectations? Come on now, that's just unrealistic! - Matty Malaprop

WHO'S AFRAID OF VIRGENTY WORLP?????? - Matty Malaprop