literalism

I don't care if it's a cute mnemonic device, pedretta. Your uncle's explanation is FULL OF LIES, and for that he ought be punished. - Matty Malaprop

Sure, the historical time periods don't really work out correctly but COME ON! - Matty Malaprop

... because that's totally the kind of business an enterprising super villain (hero?) would go into... yeah... - Matty Malaprop

Closed mics are tragic things, really. All of their jokes are inside jokes, and they're always told in muffled tones. - Matty Malaprop

And I go to the beach to stare at lovely mammaries. Now get off your high horse. - Matty Malaprop

His cold misanthropy is just a property of his brain chemistry, I suppose. - Matty Malaprop

It's obvious to all of us; the tensions around here are most definitely rising. The stern stairs coming from everyone should have been the first sign of trouble. - Matty Malaprop

Note the quotes in my headline. That's the title of this video. I think these two have a wildly different opinion than myself re: the meaning of "best." - Matty Malaprop

I bet this particular gentlemen knows exactly how to make a quick buck. - Matty Malaprop

Better than violation of probation officer, amirite? - Matty Malaprop

OMG U GUIZ IT'S A HORSE-DRAWN HORSE-DRAWN CARRIAGE LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL Okay fine so maybe it's not that funny but I still chuckled so screw all of you! - Matty Malaprop

His name, quite unsurprisingly, is Lemmy. - Matty Malaprop

Beneath her dazzling, sometimes standoffish exterior, she's really just a woman who doesn't want to be kept hanging any longer. - Matty Malaprop