literalism

PROTIP: Attempting to smuggle Cuban Nip into the United States is the antithesis of a good idea. - Matty Malaprop

More political hilarity over here!

Just try not to eat too many of them, okay? I wouldn't want your weight to explode under a caloric Vulcan death grip. - Matty Malaprop

Or rather I'd be filing it as "WTF?" If I weren't laughing too hard to do any filing at all. Oh ridiculous doodle-ish comics, you endlessly amuse me. - Matty Malaprop

We can only hope that's a Cease and Desist from a major label that he's shredding. - Matty Malaprop

More music humor over at Music FAILS!

OMG U GUIZ IT'S A HORSE-DRAWN HORSE-DRAWN CARRIAGE LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL Okay fine so maybe it's not that funny but I still chuckled so screw all of you! - Matty Malaprop

Seriously, why can't the phrase just be "hold your ponies?" I'm starting to lose feeling in my left arm... - Matty Malaprop

I'm sure he's cellarbrating his latest sale right this instant! - Matty Malaprop

... but I've yet to meet a pile of cold, hard cash that even so much as approaches Robert's level of charm. - Matty Malaprop

Sure, it's inconsistent and unpredictable, but I'm willing to bet it's still preferable to the Schizophrenicoaster. - Matty Malaprop

He'll be ready soon, I promise. He just needs to get his outfit ursussed out. - Matty Malaprop

Sometimes an elaborate pajama set is just an elaborate pajama set. - Matty Malaprop

I still prefer the Stephen Fry version, but kudos to the creator of this comic, nonetheless. - Matty Malaprop

If you mustache a man why he would feel a fondness for his facial hair, then you'll probably never truly understand. - Matty Malaprop