homophones

salt knife cliché homophones weapon deadly weapon assault - 6824122880
By xyzpdq1
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They didn't manage to off their first victim, though they did leave him visibly shaken afterward. - Matty Malaprop

sleigh reindeer retail tail literalism slay homophones double meaning - 6870480128
Via Reddit
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Man, that joke really came out bell-y up... - Matty Malaprop

board bored boring do want double meaning fun Hall of Fame homophone homophones literalism something wishing wood would - 5039195904
By Erin (Via theyaffle.blogspot.com)
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Well maybe if your schedule was a little more flexible you could have a little more fun... - Matty Malaprop

aide comparison cortaid court homophones literalism side by side - 6220221440
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Or something like that. I WORK ON THE INTERNET. How the hell should I know what a court aide does? #TooLazyToGoogle - Matty Malaprop

astronomical cuban cube Fidel Castro homophones letter N similar sounding - 5825753856
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Just don't try and argue with the man, unless you want to magically "disappear" quicker than a Che of light. - Matty Malaprop