homophones

Axe is really a lot like Red Bull when you stop and think about it; both are synonymous with canned sh*t. - Matty Malaprop

Go on shawty, it's your one hundred and eleventieth birthday; we gon' party like it's your one hundred and eleventieth birthday. - Matty Malaprop

Come to think of it, my family's veteranarian is of German descent... - Matty Malaprop

And so often I feel that lying and deceit are just direct side effects of that sinful thing called pride. - Matty Malaprop

Punmaster Travis says: "Hard to trust him with the bass... he can't seem to grip it too well."

I'm not much of a dubstep fan, but I do WUB me a nice home-cooked meal! - Matty Malaprop

It's kind of a catch-22, really. If you don't bet on the headless horseman, you're probably going to get murdered. If you do bet on the headless horseman, your wallet's probably going to get murdered. CONUNDRUM. - Matty Malaprop

His ability to do almost anything and everything is considered by many to be totally godlike. - Matty Malaprop

For more sci-fi humor, set your phasers to LOL!