homophones

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By James Sill
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Axe is really a lot like Red Bull when you stop and think about it; both are synonymous with canned sh*t. - Matty Malaprop

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By esteTom
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Go on shawty, it's your one hundred and eleventieth birthday; we gon' party like it's your one hundred and eleventieth birthday. - Matty Malaprop

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And so often I feel that lying and deceit are just direct side effects of that sinful thing called pride. - Matty Malaprop

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By Unknown
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Punmaster Travis says: "Hard to trust him with the bass... he can't seem to grip it too well."

I'm not much of a dubstep fan, but I do WUB me a nice home-cooked meal! - Matty Malaprop

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It's kind of a catch-22, really. If you don't bet on the headless horseman, you're probably going to get murdered. If you do bet on the headless horseman, your wallet's probably going to get murdered. CONUNDRUM. - Matty Malaprop