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There's a part of me that really wants to be offended by this post. But COME ON. Stayin' Arive? That's GOLD, right there. - Matty Malaprop

Well this a story all about how my car got cleaned up and down. - Matty Malaprop

You know, if it is just a speech impediment, he can always Iago to therapy for that sort of thing, so success all around! - Matty Malaprop

I've been watching this for like five minutes now, and it's really starting to gif me a headache. - Matty Malaprop

It's a great snack to take with you on all guacs of life! - Matty Malaprop

... and then the tiger eats the pie and the protagonist jumps ship and swims for shore as fast as he pecan! #FakeSpoilers - Matty Malaprop

After seeing how badly Simon Kinberg and Zak Penn followed his scripts for "X-Men" and "X-2," I think Haytred is a totally justifiable feeling for poor David. - Matty Malaprop

Now that I think about it, putting au jus on tso chicken sounds downright dreadful... I think I just killed all my taste buds with my post title... - Matty Malaprop

And this particular cake is very good at cleaning your companion pubes, if you know what I mean. - Matty Malaprop

Maybe you wouldn't have this problem with your face if you weren't so overindulgent with your pork spending, Jon! - Matty Malaprop

Check out what's fab funny in showbiz, over at ROFLrazzi!

♪ I want you to want me / I need you to knead me / I'd love you to loaf me / I'm begging you to bake me / I want you to want me / I need you to knead me / I'd love you to loaf me / I'll shine up a rolling pin / lay out a fresh-washed pan / I'll wait for you after work if you say that you'll loaf me / Didn't you, didn't you, didn't you see me risin'? / Didn't you, didn't you, didn't you see me risin'? / Hoping to god you won't be usin' that stove for fryin' / Didn't you, didn't you, didn't you see me risin'? ♪ - Matty Malaprop

Though I hear their relationship is not at all without its share of pittfalls. - Matty Malaprop