homophone

away csi meme csi miami david carusoe done dunaway homophone literalism surname - 6307479808
By Fenix (Via GameFAQs)
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I mean, sure, you have to squint to read the damn thing, but the joke's worth a couple of chuckles in my book, so eh. - Matty Malaprop

Get over here and play a video game.

clog clogged clogs double meaning homophone literalism sink think - 5015631872
By xyzpdq1
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Browsing Wikipedia for ~~inspiration~~ for my writeup for this post, I learned that there are many different types of clogs. Traditional clogs, clog sandals, clog boots (!), wedding clogs (!!), low heel clogs, and a giant four-meter long clog in Enter, Netherlands. This information didn't help me write a joke though... all it did was clog my brain with even more useless information.

... I'm going to go cry myself to sleep for having just cracked that one. I'm so sorry, everyone. - Matty Malaprop

homophone oldest trick in the book thyme time - 6331620864
By Unknown
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Perhaps it's not wonder enough to get me to shop at a place called The Big Crate, but regardless. Impressive. - Matty Malaprop

sandwich witch sand homophone double meaning literalism - 6673878528
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I'm usually not a huge fan of sand sculptures, but in this case I'm willing to make an hexception. - Matty Malaprop

jump dock hypothetical peer pressure pier peer homophone double meaning - 6636877312
By First Last Middle Initial
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I'm trying not to get too emoceanal here, but I just can't sea why you would do such a stupid thing! - Matty Malaprop

christopher robin homophone literalism robbing robin winnie the pooh - 6235410176
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The giving seems unnecessary, if you ask me. A criminal Christopher seems way more story-worthy. - Matty Malaprop

answer double meaning duck homophone horrible literalism peeking peking peking duck question - 4909631232
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Q: What do you call an entrée of imitation duck meat? A: A Pâté de Fraud Gras. - Matty Malaprop

Carly Simon homophone literalism lyrics parody song vein youre-so-vain - 4810942976
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Oh Carly Simon, I know I told all of your CDs that I wanted to throw them out of the window of my mother's Buick LeSabre when I was younger, but I promise I'm not the man I used to be. Please to forgive me for my veinity? - Matty Malaprop

eric clapton song tiers tears in heaven literalism tears homophone - 6958595840
Via Reddit
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Am I the only one who thinks the song might actually be better if it was just him spelling out paradisiacal hierarchy? - Matty Malaprop

double meaning hole homophone literalism whole whole milk - 6130318592
Via Reddit
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Judging by the size of that glass, this looks suspiciously like half-and-half to me... - Matty Malaprop

homophone literalism nitpicky pair pear pears - 5167138304
By xyzpdq1
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Nitpicky, details-oriented moderator, meet cliché pun. Cliché pun, meet nitpicky, details-oriented moderator. I don't think you two will get along at all, but the ensuing fallout will likely be HILARIOUS to observe from a safe distance. - Matty Malaprop