homophone

... because Lana Del Ray is way cooler than Steppenwolf ever was. - Matty Malaprop

I'm still a little salty about how bad his last record was, though.* - Matty Malaprop

*J/K ALL OF HIS MUSIC IS BAD AND I DON'T LIKE ANYTHING ABOUT IT I JUST PRETENDED TO SO I COULD MAKE PUNSSSSSSSSSSSSS

If you replace the heads in this post with the effigy of Nigel Thornberry, then I suppose that makes them both Thorn to be Wilde. - Matty Malaprop

Some puns are just bad to t-bone. - Matty Malaprop

His departure from his family was bound to happen eventually. I mean, his natural home is on the range, after all. - Matty Malaprop

Okay, okay, I see the door... but where does the bull come into play here? - Matty Malaprop

How many knots could a piglet not knot if a piglet could not knot knots? - Matty Malaprop

The tendentiousness of his answers is often quite hair-raising. - Matty Malaprop

Let us not go there... it is a silly place. - Matty Malaprop

Sherlock's deductive reasoning skills are eggselent, but he's been known to comb over obvious evidence all too often. - Matty Malaprop

Want more clucky comedy? We've got it for you over at Animal Memes!

No no, kiddo. Don't take a bough. You don't deserve applause for that one. - Matty Malaprop

Mike Tyson ain't the only fighter who's liable to bite off your ears... - Matty Malaprop