homophone

He didn't even feel alive. He was just bearly holding on to his sanity toward the end there. - Matty Malaprop

(singing voice on) ♪ A whole new wooooooooooooorld / a dazzling region I never knew / but when I'm way up here, Kanto's crystal clear / that now I'm in a whole new world... with Mew. ♪ - Matty Malaprop

Pokémemes: Gotta catch 'em LOL!

Gently down the... protein? I don't know how to rewrite that classic tune in science terms I'M SORRY SORRY EVERYONE I KNOW I'VE FAILED YOU ALL. - Matty Malaprop

... but why is there no hole in the road in the second picture? - Matty Malaprop

He was never much of a dancer though. He just never really had much of an ear for rhythm. - Matty Malaprop

Their relationship is a sticky situation, sure, but when two people fawn over each other as much as they do, you really can't deny them anything. - Matty Malaprop

Unsurprisingly, the student in question was denied permission to relieve herself. The correct response was "puis-je utiliser les toilettes?" - Matty Malaprop

It's also the best-behaved vegetable I've ever encountered. You tell it to get in the steamer, and it gets in the steamer! - Matty Malaprop

Ain't no hawk that hawk thinks like this hawky hawk. - Matty Malaprop

Why wash your clothes when you can slosh your clothes, is what my mother always told me. - Matty Malaprop

Seriously, all the world's finest samurye train at the bushidough. - Matty Malaprop

THAT ONE LETTER. THAT ONE DAMNED LETTER ALWAYS RUINS EVERYTHING. - Pedobear Portmanteau

I pity the fool who thinks you can get good tea from most primarily-coffee-oriented cafés. - Matty Malaprop

Consequently, the loudness of the annual "Bovine in Fine Rides" festival is rivaled only by the likes of jet engines and screaming children. - Matty Malaprop

And the Mythbusters do love making things explode, so this pun seems pretty consistent on the whole. - Matty Malaprop

Judging by the size of that glass, this looks suspiciously like half-and-half to me... - Matty Malaprop