homophone

This is as close as I'm going to get to the whole Kony 2012 debacle. And even then, it's only because I'm hungry and this dog looks like f*ing magic to my stomach right now. - Matty Malaprop

I'm usually not a huge fan of sand sculptures, but in this case I'm willing to make an hexception. - Matty Malaprop

Let us not go there... it is a silly place. - Matty Malaprop

Srsly u guiz: NYANCATBUS. It's Totoro meets Nyan Cat meets a misinterpretation of the acronym USB. HOW COULD ANYTHING POSSIBLY BE BETTER? - Matty Malaprop

I make the above joke as a half-blooded Frenchman. Make of that what you will, friendos. - Matty Malaprop

Check out more funny animals at Animal Capshunz!

CURSE YOU HOMOPHONES! WHY MUST YOU WREAK HAVOC ON MY FOOD-WORD ASSOCIATIONS? - Matty Malaprop

Cheer up, math-friend. Get some Zs tonight and hopefully you'll feel better in the morning! - Matty Malaprop

You gotta be pretty bald to do a thing like that, if you ask me. - Matty Malaprop

You know what they say... you can't have a wedding without a bride and gloom. - Matty Malaprop

They're like Scooby Snacks, only the reeling lasts longer. #ThatOneWasOnTheHouse - Matty Malaprop

Alternate title: "So THAT'S Why I Seem to Be Allergic to Pooping!" - Matty Malaprop

See? It's funny because strawberries produce runners and that is also a term that can be applied to people who flee police pursuit LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL #OkayThat'sNotReallyVeryFunnyAtAll - Matty Malaprop

Depression is a cruel mistress. Just lettuce know if there's anything we can do to help, okay? - Matty Malaprop