homophone

It won't keep the draft out, but it will keep the cute in! - Matty Malaprop

You think just whine because they are begging for food. But in fact they whine because they're calculating the coefficient AND begging for food. - Matty Malaprop

It's also the best-behaved vegetable I've ever encountered. You tell it to get in the steamer, and it gets in the steamer! - Matty Malaprop

Even big cats have issues catching the red dot, you know. - Matty Malaprop

The flavor is meaty and full, but man oh man does it do awful things to your teeth... - Matty Malaprop

Sorry in advance if the texture's a little odd. Try as I might to improve my culinary finesse, I've always been a bit of a wookie in the kitchen. - Matty Malaprop

Via Eff Yeah Puns

This. This right here. This is my life every damn day of the week. I am not a proud man. - Matty Malaprop

Ain't no hawk that hawk thinks like this hawky hawk. - Matty Malaprop