double meaning

Every boy I meet in real life just doesn't seem to be on the same page as me. - Matty Malaprop

NO! NO! CTRL + Z!! I was a little heated when I said those hurtful things! I know I ovenreacted, but now that I've cooled off, I want to say I'm sorry! - Matty Malaprop

Cheer up, math-friend. Get some Zs tonight and hopefully you'll feel better in the morning! - Matty Malaprop

Their motions on the floor are always very fluid, and concerning their choreography, no one could ever rightly say they faucet. - Matty Malaprop

Let's be clear: Outside of the literal interpretation of the conjunction of these two symbols, the iPad is in no way, shape or form a thing even remotely as good as an actual apple pie. - Matty Malaprop

Kind of a shame he didn't give chase in this particular situation. Boy's got a killer bank shot. - Matty Malaprop

Well now, who ever could this Cosby from? - Matty Malaprop

He can walk the meerwalk, but I'm terribly skeptical as to whether or not this kitty can talk the meertalk. - Matty Malaprop

Check out more funny animals at Animal Capshunz!

Plus, I hear if you regularize your spending habits and locations, you eventually become eligible for an annual tux exemption. - Matty Malaprop

If you're quick, you'll be able to catch him when he's not en garde! - Matty Malaprop

Nothing says love quite like a bear in a sweater does. - Matty Malaprop

At long last, someone who fills the niche market I'm looking for! I'll take three cat o' nine tails, and a spiked collar, and a pack of medium latex gloves, and... - Matty Malaprop

If you've ever felt imprisoned by your dependence on your phone, well now you know you've been right about that all along. - Matty Malaprop

Let's just hope this coal-driven romantic doesn't end up being a Train in Vain today. - Matty Malaprop

It's Valentine's Day, and Cheezburger has a very special present for you!

So let's all just start blaming Davy Jones for what happened in Japan and move on with our lives, shall we? - Matty Malaprop

And the parts don't want to be tied up in it either! And the ties don't want to be embroiled themselves! And the broiler resents its inclusion in the whole affair also! And the affair was between Bobby Brown and someone else and well that's just creepy to even think about. - Matty Malaprop