double meaning

You gotta wonder how much he practiced this particular stupid human trick... - Matty Malaprop

I guess I'm just unlucky. Every time I buy something nice for myself, it always seems to missedeariously disappear... - Matty Malaprop

Funny, I see two bottles of vodka, and my crippling fear of ladders just magically vanishes! - Matty Malaprop

Granted, he might be obedient because his brain was replaced with a potato, but he's obedient regardless. - Matty Malaprop

If the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, then it certainly doesn't rot far from it either. - Matty Malaprop

... well, um, it's better than mold, I guess? - Matty Malaprop

They'll listen non-judgmentally to all of your problems, free of charge. - Matty Malaprop

I'm sure it's not what you were expecting, but hey, you can't say I was being dishonest! - Matty Malaprop

Ugh, romance. It's always nothing but treble if you ask me. - Matty Malaprop

The shutterstock watermark really ties the whole pun together, don't you think? - Matty Malaprop

... but just because you can finally play locally doesn't mean you should stop writing angry Screwtape Letters to your Narnian ISPs! - Matty Malaprop

He can walk the meerwalk, but I'm terribly skeptical as to whether or not this kitty can talk the meertalk. - Matty Malaprop

Check out more funny animals at Animal Capshunz!

Obviously the pastor's name is Harold, and the deceased's is Maude. - Matty Malaprop

On the plus side, high fidelity headphones are always faithful to their spouses, AND they'll take a bullet for any and all of their friends and acquaintances. - Matty Malaprop

Man, these guys' disses are worse than the taste of spoiled tzatziki... - Matty Malaprop