Purple didn't do so hot either, but I don't see you calling him out on his failing grade! I think you're overallist, teach! - Matty Malaprop

Before you even ask; yes, he high-fived first. - Matty Malaprop

I've never been able to keep up with him at the club. It's always just hotter than Hades in there, which makes it so hard to dance for long periods of time without feeling like grossness personified! - Matty Malaprop

Check out what's fab funny in showbiz, over at ROFLrazzi!

Johnny, Honey, you really oughta get that vestigial monstrosity taken care of! Maybe Sweeney Todd could help you snip it off? - Matty Malaprop

Life is trash. I refuse to keep tolerating all the garbage that gets tossed my way day in and day out. - Matty Malaprop

Given my history with Ikea product assembly, I'm mostly positive I'll never net this gig... - Matty Malaprop

Personally I'd like about 12 more boxes of raspberries, but this does seem like a pretty sick way to go out. - Matty Malaprop

I tried doing this once with my phone, but in addition to being dead, it turns out my battery was also a deadbeat. - Matty Malaprop

Important announcement about commenting: Beginning Monday, only registered users will be able to comment on our sites. Once you've registered with us you'll be able to see all your comments under "My Comments" on your profile. Also, your comments will not sit in moderation for quite as long, which allows you to comment more and keep up with the conversation. Of course, you'll still be able to comment using your Facebook profile as well.

Stay tuned as we continue to make Cheezburger a happier place!

Visit the Cheezburger blog for more information.

On the EVE of Black Friday, 2805, everything changed... - Matty Malaprop