achilles achilles heel Command dogs double meaning Hall of Fame heel literalism name - 6443570432
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Let's just hope he learns to stay down before his owner's brother comes over to meet him, lest we risk seeing yet another fall of Troy. - Matty Malaprop

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Dumbest Things People Have Ever Heard

You just never really know when someone's going to spew out some mindless jargon that leaves you standing there at a complete loss over where they came up with their nonsense in the first place. Sometimes people say such dumb things that it almost ends up being impressive in its own right. This fine collection of the dumbest things that people have ever heard is its own kind of achievement. 

The dumbest things that people have ever heard. | tocanofd 9h S 1 Award sat next girl bio who got 40% on our first test. She seemed quite pleased and said now she only needed get 40% again have an average 80 O Reply 1 222
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beet kicks beat literalism double meaning kicking in - 6786557696
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That beet is sick! ... so you might want to keep him from contaminating most of the things in your apartment with his gnarly germs... - Matty Malaprop

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Entitled Teen Wants To Steal Tattoo Artist's Design, Doesn't Understand Their Anger

Man, it's got to be profoundly frustrating to be a tattoo artist in a day and age rife with entitled individuals like the one we have here. For whatever puzzling reason the kid in question thinks that it's totally chill to go and steal a tattoo artist's design, ask them for an edit, and then they have the audacity to question the artist's frustrated response. At that point it seems like the entitlement has clouded the individual's head to such an extent, we're not even sure that the typical reality check would get anything done. 

An entitled teen wants to steal a tattoo artist's design, doesn't understand their frustration. | going get tattoo. 1h Reply Hide replies sel tattoo rights and linework on my Etsy buy and can get clean like work file give tattooer! 1h Reply
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plan Party homophones space planet - 6975685376
By Unknown
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Yes, R.I.P. in peace. Deliberate redundancy. Pluto deserves it. You got a problem with that???? - Matty Malaprop

chips walkers Lays lolwut the walking dead? The Walking Dead - 6724976384
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Punmaster MrJonnyNitro says: "Walkers everywhere!"

Um... is this a Walking Dead joke or something? Because I'm all kinds of NHOT right now... - Matty Malaprop

double meaning literalism NES opponent super-punch-out take on video game world - 5064148480
By -Ghost-
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Kid would have done well to remember that The World has one hell of a right cross. - Matty Malaprop

Source: Perry Bible Fellowship

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Coworker Complains About Free Pizza, Petty Feast Ensues

Oh man, the look on that choosing beggar of a coworker's face must've been more delicious than any kind of Thanksgiving dinner. This guy addressed an unappreciative, office bully in just the kind of way that makes it deserving of a petty revenge medal. 

Petty revenge is taken on a coworker who complains about free pizza | r/pettyrevenge u/anon98199 225d Join Coworker complains about free pizza So told this belongs here as well. Please enjoy So one my coworkers is huge choosing beggar. Like aggressively choosy point he will bully people who are buying him free things get exactly he wants. This normally doesn't affect as have learned just tell him fuck off course he always complains and pretends like just attacked him out nowhere but 's not
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Dalai Lama dolly double meaning homophone homophones literalism llama - 5444494336
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Balancing a quadruped on a two-wheeled lift system? That's pretty much Upaya in a nutshell! - Matty Malaprop