99.9 percent effective at stopping unexpected pregnancy. 100 percent effective at causing unexpected fall fails. - Matty Malaprop

I'm sure you'd really like them if you just gave them a chance! I mean, who knows? They might even turn out to be quite sweet! - Matty Malaprop

You really ought to put him on a stricter diet. You wouldn't want him developing heart pulpitations, after all!

Punmaster Nieceywiecey says: "Character from League of Legends. Thought of this randomly whilst thinking about Mariah Carey's 'Emotions.' JUST THOUGHT I WOULD SHARE WITH YOU GUYS."

Mariah Carey depresses me about as much as eSports, so this one really resonates with me, to be honest. - Matty Malaprop

Get over here and play a video game!

Never in my life did I imagine I'd find myself rooting FOR Vin Diesel, but... - Matty Malaprop

THIS IS THE THIRD TIME I'VE POSTED BAIL FOR YOU THIS WEEK. WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? FOUL BACHELOR FROG?? - Matty Malaprop