Thanks to his military training, he knows never to shoot at a culprit until he sees the egg whites of their eyes. - Matty Malaprop
I feel like Philip Glass is one of the only neo-classical composers who gets any sort of consistent acclaim... but that's just bullocks in my mind; he's only even a semi-conductor! - Matty Malaprop
And here I thought Weird Al was the one who was supposed to be white and nerdy... - Matty Malaprop
It took us a while to clean up our act, but now your efforts will hamper ours no longer! - Matty Malaprop
Without any corrective gear, my vision's fuzzier than an AT&T signal in the wilds of Montana. #rimshot - Matty Malaprop
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