Just don't rub him the wrong way, and you won't ever have to worry about him being all JaUp in your business. - Matty Malaprop

I meant to pack one for lunch this morning, but I didn't have any broom left in my lunchbox! - Matty Malaprop

And by "the easy way" I of course mean the wrong way, because everyone knows tenses in French are the purest form of confounding hell and not like they are in English at all. - Matty Malaprop

I saw mommy kissing... WAIT A SECOND OH DEAR GOD WHAT HAPPENED TO HER FOOT????? - Matty Malaprop

Punmaster Ajord says: "Found this while unpacking some boxes at a friend's work."

At least you got some payoff for your work. Every time I do manual labor I just end up with bloody knuckles. - Matty Malaprop

People like you make Lame Pun Coon sick, and he hopes you all 12-sided die. - Matty Malaprop

Oh Kenneth, you never fail to make me giggle with embarrassment. - Matty Malaprop