The Only House I Ever Want to Be Sorted Into

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The Only House I Ever Want to Be Sorted Into
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Screw that one house with the badgers. And that one with the griffins. And especially that one with the snakes. This is clearly the best option. - Matty Malaprop

After the Termites Got To it, It Doubled As a Deathly Hollow

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After the Termites Got To it, It Doubled As a Deathly Hollow
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Well, his closed-door policy on fairly relevant/important information always did make things difficult for Harry... - Matty Malaprop

You Couldn't Be More Ron

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You Couldn't Be More Ron
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Every time Harry naysays, Voldemort Avada Kedavras a kitten. - Matty Malaprop