Thanks, God. Now I'm Really Crabby.

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Thanks, God. Now I'm Really Crabby.
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Oh, come on, don't act like you didn't chuckle at this Capricorny joke! - Matty Malaprop

Wait, Decline's an Option?

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Wait, Decline's an Option?
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Well then... screw you, tiny, child-sized bladder! No longer shall I answer to your whiny protestations! - Matty Malaprop

Why Does Snoop Dogg Need Anything?

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Why Does Snoop Dogg Need Anything?
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It's kinda like when he ordered that diamond-studded cast iron frying pan from Amazon, and in the comments sectioned noted that it was intended "fo' sizzle." - Mattizzle Malapropizzle

Seriously, It Kinda Sticks Out

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Seriously, It Kinda Sticks Out
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The chaps stick, on the other hand... - Matty Malaprop

That's Sadly Not Enough to Reserve a John Wilkes Booth...

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That's Sadly Not Enough to Reserve a John Wilkes Booth...
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A penny? Seriously? Abe might have been an honest dude, but that doesn't mean he wasn't a stinkin' cheapskate. - Matty Malaprop