Driving Children Insane Since Age Three

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Driving Children Insane Since Age Three
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Because remembering which way to turn the knobs wasn't already impossibly difficult enough, apparently. - Matty Malaprop

Source: Cracked

Oh Come On, Superassman Would Be a Way Cooler Hero

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Oh Come On, Superassman Would Be a Way Cooler Hero
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Of course, Superassman is merely his descriptive title. His superhero name? Gluteus Maximus. - Matty Malaprop

This Whole Post is Going to be One Cheap Trick

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This Whole Post is Going to be One Cheap Trick
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I want you to want me / I need you to knead me / I'd love you to loaf me / I'm begging you to bake me / I want you to want me / I need you to knead me / I'd love you to loaf me / I'll shine up a rolling pin / lay out a fresh-washed pan / I'll wait for you after work if you say that you'll loaf me / Didn't you, didn't you, didn't you see me risin'? / Didn't you, didn't you, didn't you see me risin'? / Hoping to god you won't be usin' that stove for fryin' / Didn't you, didn't you, didn't you see me risin'? ♪ - Matty Malaprop