I still can't remember which is which

That can't be legal

Did you guys see the flaming bagpipe Darth Vader unicycle man cross the Willamette today?

It's difficult for me to tell when something is unique to the midwest or if it's something everybody does. Sure, vocal tics like "ope" are stereotypically midwestern, but I find it hard to believe this is solely a feature of that region. I don't think I'd be laughed out of the room in New York or Texas if I said, “I'm just going to squeeze right past you,” but most non-midwesterners would opt for a simple, “excuse me" (or “pardon me” in Texas). One thing that I cannot stand by is the assertion…

Why Punxsutawney Phil? Why?

I am a Southerner, but I'm kind of not a Southerner. If you ask a Northerner, they'd probably say I'm a Southerner because I'm from Texas. However, ask a Southerner or a Texan, and they'll probably be singing a different tune. Even though I'm technically not a Southerner, growing up in Texas gave me many quintessential Southern experiences . If anyone tells me that they think 90-degree weather is hot, it takes a lot for me to keep my mouth shut. I am also a fierce lover of chicken fried steak.…

Can we say that plants from Texas are dumb? Can we say that shoes from Texas are dumb?

Oh, Canada! It might not be my home and patriot land, but it is glorious and free! On behalf of all Americans, I'd like to apologize to the Canadian public for what South Park has done to your people. I've done my research, and I'm now confident that South Park's depiction of Canadians as beady-eyed, flapping-headed people is nothing but hearsay. Even though I will be a Terrance and Phillip stan until I die and defend Terrance and Phillip in Not Without My Anus till the cows come home, I unders…

'Today’s goals: Coffee and kindness. Maybe two coffees, and then kindness.' - Lol, just kidding, don't talk to me.

They aren't scared 'til it's a category 11

Las Vegas, baby!

Insane lightning, earth rattling thunder, hail the size of golf balls—it's all so terrifying, yet also somehow breathtaking.

Nightmare fuel

Wind. How does it work? It's the sort of question that makes you scoff at first—'of course I know what wind is!' But then after a few moments of trying to formulate the definition in your mind, you start to second guess yourself. 'It definitely has something to do with the sun. And pressure. It's air, but like, moving.' When I saw @zachsilberberg's tweet admitting he doesn't totally understand what wind is, I had to take a moment to channel my inner second grader and remember all those cartoony

It’s human nature to make a sacrifice in the name of love now and then. We wouldn’t have any tales of great romance if people didn’t make the occasional dramatic and/or mind-bogglingly stupid gesture just because somebody else gives them butterflies. That being said, there comes a point where most people would draw the line, especially with a person they’ve just met. This was not the case for @cassidydangler, who braved the biblical storm that hit New York last week in order to go on a date wit…

If we’re being honest with ourselves, the weather is probably the dullest part of most TV news broadcasts. These days, our phones can tell us everything from whether it’s time for a light jacket or a hurricane is fast approaching. It’s not like we need some dude pointing at a map to hammer home the point. It would appear that no one is more aware of this than the reporters themselves, at least when it comes to one Canadian station. When @dianekoko1 watched the weather forecast recently, she was…