Plus, Cheems says goodbye.

Get that ketchup away from my hot dog

Scorching hot memes for indoor fiends hiding from the sun

The stars at night a big and bright CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP

A hot topic

Hotdog Mastery

I still can't remember which is which

That can't be legal

Did you guys see the flaming bagpipe Darth Vader unicycle man cross the Willamette today?

It's difficult for me to tell when something is unique to the midwest or if it's something everybody does. Sure, vocal tics like "ope" are stereotypically midwestern, but I find it hard to believe this is solely a feature of that region. I don't think I'd be laughed out of the room in New York or Texas if I said, “I'm just going to squeeze right past you,” but most non-midwesterners would opt for a simple, “excuse me" (or “pardon me” in Texas). One thing that I cannot stand by is the assertion…

Why Punxsutawney Phil? Why?

I am a Southerner, but I'm kind of not a Southerner. If you ask a Northerner, they'd probably say I'm a Southerner because I'm from Texas. However, ask a Southerner or a Texan, and they'll probably be singing a different tune. Even though I'm technically not a Southerner, growing up in Texas gave me many quintessential Southern experiences . If anyone tells me that they think 90-degree weather is hot, it takes a lot for me to keep my mouth shut. I am also a fierce lover of chicken fried steak.…

Can we say that plants from Texas are dumb? Can we say that shoes from Texas are dumb?

Oh, Canada! It might not be my home and patriot land, but it is glorious and free! On behalf of all Americans, I'd like to apologize to the Canadian public for what South Park has done to your people. I've done my research, and I'm now confident that South Park's depiction of Canadians as beady-eyed, flapping-headed people is nothing but hearsay. Even though I will be a Terrance and Phillip stan until I die and defend Terrance and Phillip in Not Without My Anus till the cows come home, I unders…

'Today’s goals: Coffee and kindness. Maybe two coffees, and then kindness.' - Lol, just kidding, don't talk to me.

They aren't scared 'til it's a category 11