news

These extremely amusing headlines are a far cry from investigative journalism, but we are definitely completely engaged. It's amazing to see the kind of crap that slid by the attention of "editors" during the heyday of print. These headlines will make you laugh, face-palm, and maybe even smile at their sheer stupidity. Happy reading!

Our boy Keanu Reeves has finally found love it seems, and the internet can't contain its excitement. He recently went public with girlfriend Alexandra Grant, an artist. The two have reportedly been friends for years, and even co-wrote a book together.

While people are stoked for the beloved Mr. Reeves, the announcement has also brought on some criticism of the way we treat women in Hollywood - many have been referring to the relationship as "age appropriate," given many male actors' tendencies to date models and actresses in their twenties. Grant is 46 years old.

Here are some of the internet's reactions to the news!

These headlines aren't quite at Florida Man levels of insane, but they certainly are up there. We just want to know who allowed these things to be put into print. Either these publications have incredibly negligent editors, or the writers were just having a little fun trolling the masses - or perhaps both.

After a mysterious months-long disappearance from social media, Belle Delphine tweeted a photo of her mugshot just this morning and the internet is absolutely losing it. The e-girl hasn't specified exactly what she was arrestedfor, but people have been speculating like crazy. From tax fraud to Tekashi 6ix9ine ratting her out as a member of the Nine Trey Bloods (which would be the biggest plot twist in history). 

Here are some reaction memes and tweets to the news!

These ads and headlines are so terribly placed that you have to wonder whether these publishers knew exactly what they were doing. Either that or they were written by a bunch of overworked staff writers who skipped over some crucial details. Either way, these pics are pretty funny, and full of innuendos!

Florida, this is why we can't have nice things. You just keep effing it up for the rest of us good law-abiding citizens who just want to go about our days without reading 150 ridiculous headlines about whatever Florida did this time. Totally kidding, we love reading about the weird sh*t that goes on there so keep it coming!

The NYPD's search for 29 year old Desmond 'Etika' Amofah has come to a tragic end. The New York Police Department confirmed earlier today that a body found in the East River was that of the allegedly troubled Youtuber. The police began searching for the popular live-streamer on June 20th following Amofah's disappearance, and before that, the uploading of a chilling video in which he revealed his suicidal thoughts. Many fans were hopeful that this was a moment of  being "overdramatic," similar to a stunt he had pulled in 2018.Things began taking a less hopeful turn when his belongings were recovered, scattered around the Manhattan Bridge. 

Following news of Etika's demise, many peers and fans took to Twitter and Youtube to share their shock, stories of happier times, and to implore people to pay attention to mental health.

 If you are struggling with mental illness or suicidal thoughts, remember that help is available. Talk to someone.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: Call 1-800-273-8255 or chat.

We're not going to take sides on the political spectrum here, but we are absolutely going to take sides when it comes to whether vaccines should be mandatory or not (hint: they should be). 

Ms. Marianne Williamson, a democratic 2020 presidential hopeful, may have lost her chance at ever seeing the inside of the White House when she stated that required vaccines are "Orwellian" and that US government should have no right to tell anyone what to do with their bodies.

The flawed logic here is astounding.

Luckily Twitter wasn't having it either!

Print is either dead or has been on the verge of death for years, and while it's certainly a tragic loss for those of us who prefer "analog" news, we're starting to realize there are benefits to focusing on web publishing. Especially where editing is concerned. These spicy newsprint blunders are a huge argument for making the switch from paper to glowing screen - if only for the ease of editing some of these seriously questionable errors and choices.

We already knew that Australiais an incredibly bizarre place full of strange accents, rampant use of the C-word, and "Macca's." This tabloid, Northern Territory News, definitely isn't helping to mitigate those stereotypes, but at least we get some entertainment out of it! 

We think Australia kind of puts Florida to shame in the WTFdepartment, so we halfway expect to see "Australia Man" news headlines on the reg here pretty soon.

Oh look, we're back with even more baffling stupidity! This time it's a roundup of insanely WTF headlines that clearly were written by overworked journalists at 3 am. But still, wasn't there an editor who had to have seen these before they went to press? Either way, scroll down to see the level of stupidity we're dealing with here!

Oh look, Millennials are back at it ruining everything! A new survey conducted by Porch and tweeted out by Now This News claims that Millennials might be the worst generation at cooking ever, and that nearly 40% don't even know what a butter knife is. Additionally, only about 40% know how to carve a turkey. The horror.

Porch surveyed 750 people of all ages, asking them if they considered themselves to be "good cooks" - just over 60% of Millennials answered yes, while well over 70% of Baby Boomers said the same.   

Many on Twitter have pointed out that the reasoning and methods used by the surveyors is heavily flawed - it's almost like hating on Millennials is all just a big marketing ploy to distract us from real problems! Lol nah, that can't be it...