The X files

He's making a tweet, he's checking it twice

Let them tweet

Tweet it and weep

Bird app nonsense

Beautiful and brave

Fresh tweets for fresh folks

It should come as no surprise that Twitter has a lot to offer in the funny content department. Comedy writers and aspiring humorists love to create short, pithy tweets that are full of wit and send them out into the world for us unfunny schmucks to enjoy. The only problem here is that the bird app also happens to be brimming with negativity. The political debates, offensive remarks, and persistent trolls feel omnipresent. Because of this sad fact, w e've gathered some of the more recent and amu…

Happy Monday. Every week we lament the arrival of the ever-reliable harbinger of groans and grumbles. We all know how painfully predictable they can be, as if time itself conspires to make the start of the week as agonizing as possible. But fear not, weary soul, for in this unending cycle of workweek misery, we have a few tricks up our sleeves to make it all a little more bearable. Mostly, it's Twitter. We can never stop scrolling through the constant stream of thoughts from public figures and…

Happy November, y'all. October was kind of a month. I'm sure a lot of stuff happened, but it's already a blur. Kanye West was Kanye West-ing, Elon Musk brought a damn sink into Twitter HQ , and Halloween happened for what felt like a week straight. Those events are enough on their own, but we're definitely missing a lot. One thing we're not forgetting is the wealth of hilarious, weird, and relatable tweets shot into the world by people who probably spend way too much time on the internet. In fa…

Like it or not, social media addiction is a 100% real affliction. And boy, are we afflicted. At the start of each day, I have dreams. Goals. Hopes. Wants. For example, I've been staring at Fernando Pessoa's The Book of Disquiet for months now. It's collecting dust on my bedside table, and yesterday I promised myself I would read at least a few of the poems. By the time I finished my work for the day, I was too brain-dead to even turn a page. That's where social media came in. Instead of reading…

There's no way around it: Twitter's been a bit of a mess lately. Just last week they removed blue checks from anyone who isn't paying for Twitter Blue. Y'know, besides the likes of LeBron James , Dril, and Stephen King. It's a funny grift, and there were plenty of accounts having a field day with their new place as “normal” Twitter users. While we were kind of terrified about what our feed would look like after the axe fell ( Elon Musk said our For You pages would be all verified), we've still…

Greetings, Internet users and abusers. Welcome to another one of our handy dandy Twitter roundups. And boy, has Twitter been on one lately. There's age gap discourse, there's food discourse. And worst of all, it seems like Elon Musk is planning to shake up the site once again. In a tweet from March 27th, Elon Musk explained that there's going to be a change to our ‘For You’ feeds. "Starting April 15th, only verified accounts will be eligible to be in For You recommendations. The (sic) is the on…

Not all of us have enough brain cells to be tweeting in perpetuity, but there are plenty of people who either do or think they do. In this here gallery you will find a diverse collection of fresh tweets that range from nonsensical and humorous to thought-provoking and profound. Some of the tweets may make you laugh out loud, while others may leave you thinking “Why would anyone say this publicly?” But that's the beauty of Twitter - it's a platform for all types of expression, both good and bad.…

Welcome back to our regular collection of fresh and funny thoughts from Twitter , where anything can happen and everyone has an opinion. Once again, we've scoured the Twittersphere to bring you the latest and greatest tweets from some of the most hilarious minds on the internet. From relatable observations about everyday life to ridiculous memes and everything in between, these tweets will either have you laughing, nodding and smiling, or at the very least, rolling your weary eyes. We've got tw…

Congratulations on making it to the weekend, comrades. If you're on the hunt for some quick and easily consumable content, you're not alone. And we have to suggest taking a scroll through the witticisms people have posted on the bird app. Twitter , for all its downsides, often behaves like a hyper-productive joke factory - one that would probably benefit from its users taking some time off to, say, touch grass. Though it's undeniable that some of the site's most prolific users spit out some ann…