Not all of us have enough brain cells to be tweeting in perpetuity, but there are plenty of people who either do or think they do. In this here gallery you will find a diverse collection of fresh tweets that range from nonsensical and humorous to thought-provoking and profound. Some of the tweets may make you laugh out loud, while others may leave you thinking “Why would anyone say this publicly?” But that's the beauty of Twitter - it's a platform for all types of expression, both good and bad.…

Welcome back to our regular collection of fresh and funny thoughts from Twitter , where anything can happen and everyone has an opinion. Once again, we've scoured the Twittersphere to bring you the latest and greatest tweets from some of the most hilarious minds on the internet. From relatable observations about everyday life to ridiculous memes and everything in between, these tweets will either have you laughing, nodding and smiling, or at the very least, rolling your weary eyes. We've got tw…

Congratulations on making it to the weekend, comrades. If you're on the hunt for some quick and easily consumable content, you're not alone. And we have to suggest taking a scroll through the witticisms people have posted on the bird app. Twitter , for all its downsides, often behaves like a hyper-productive joke factory - one that would probably benefit from its users taking some time off to, say, touch grass. Though it's undeniable that some of the site's most prolific users spit out some ann…

Since Elon Musk took over Twitter, there have been a fair number of changes to the site - most of which have been met with metaphorical foot stomping. In December, the billionaire announced that he intended to increase the site's long-running 280-character limit to 4,000. Needless to say, there was backlash. People felt that the increase defeated the purpose of Twitter: fast news. Well, on February 9th, the change went live - but only for paid Twitter Blue users. It's the first increase since 2…

Aww, yeah, it's Monday (again)! Our favorite day of the week, baby. As we've intimated a million times before, as arbitrary as time is, and as predictable as Monday is, it simply doesn't get any easier. The prospect of five days of drudgery can be pretty demoralizing, especially when you hate your job, are underpaid, and feel disrespected on the regular. But we digress. As terrible as Mondays are, and as much as we may dislike obeying the old five-day workweek, there are plenty of tools at our/…

Greetings, internet users and abusers. It's Thursday, January 26th, and today feels just like any other. I got up, got out of bed, dragged a comb (brush) across my head. I opened up my ThinkPad and went to Twitter.com like I do every day from Monday to Friday. As per usual, I almost immediately closed the laptop and prayed to the powers that be. Why? Because perusing Twitter for quality content can be so disheartening. Fortunately, betwixt the rantings and ravings of political lunatics, and the…

Hello, internet explorers. I'm having a tough time. The longer this (I know, relatively mild) winter drags out, the worse my internet addiction gets. Here in the Northeast, we're kinda lacking this little thing called “sunlight.” While the days are technically getting longer, it sure doesn't feel like it. Gone are the bright, sunshiney days of summer. We simply have to accept that the most sunlight we'll get is during our morning coffee and lunch breaks, or during incredibly expensive trips to…

Greetings, internet users and abusers. It's hump day which means we should feel a little bit of time-related optimism as we're supposed to be halfway through the week, or getting over the proverbial hump. Unfortunately, for many of us, time seems to move more slowly the closer we get to Friday, so the respite of the weekend feels like it's eons away. To make this time move more quickly, it's good to have an array of distractions to get you through the week. For me, it's been tough because I jus…

Happy Thursday, friends, lovers, and Internet addicts. It's only been a few days since we updated you with a bounty of fresh tweets, but we're back with more. It's been quite a week on the “Bird App.” I learned about Hobo Johnson, and wish I could get the minutes I spent listening to that garbage back. Somehow, the artist has been trending for nearly a week. Add that to the Andrew Callaghan allegations , gas stove drama, and various forms of rabid rants, and we're almost ready to deactivate. Ju…

Happy Sunday, freaks and weirdos. Does anyone else feel the " Sunday Scaries " looming over their shoulder? I'd like to say that it "couldn't be me," but alas. Even when your job involves scrolling through (and judging) internet things that are supposed to be funny, Monday isn't exactly a day I look forward to. Only an hour before I started typing this I was flabbergasted by the fact that it was already the ass end of the week. And that's largely due to the fact that Saturday was a blur of near…

Happy Boxing Day, or, "Day of Fatness and Dehydration" as we like to call it. It was a pretty meh weekend, but as my mom says we're pretty lucky. While we stayed inside during the 6-degree cold snap in the Northeast, people a mere 50 miles away from us were without heat or power, and some even froze to death. So it's best to count our blessings. Fortunately (or unfortunately) for us counting our miniscule blessings doesn't take very much time, which leaves a pretty big void to fill with some so…

Is anyone else getting completely obliterated by the stress of the holiday season? I just looked at my bank account and I'm quaking in my boots. How is it that I've made certain to remain within my gift-giving budget and yet I'm dead broke? I think next year I'm just going to bake everyone cookies and send them via Fed-Ex so that I can stay home and enjoy the holidays by myself, like a proper Scrooge . Anyway. The world doesn't stop for my stress, and you know what? That's a good thing. The hol…

We believe that wasting time should be a simple endeavor. The sad truth is that time passes by all too quickly. Even though humans today have a zillion different technologies, apps, and streaming services to help us procrastinate and while away the hours , there are still road blocks that keep us from making the most of our free time. While sometimes the roadblocks come in the form of a crappy internet connection or a dead phone, more often than not we're simply blessed with the kinds content t…

Let's face it: Not every tweet is going to be a good one. In fact, we'd argue that most tweets willed into existence should never have been composed at all. Thanks to Elon Musk's cringey quest for what he refers to as “free speech,” there's more stupidity on Twitter than ever before. Not everyone has the immense shame and insecurity that I do - a shame that results in a drafts folder

If you've spent any significant amount of time on the hellscape of a website that is Twitter, then you are aware that not all tweets were created equal. Most of the riffs and rants that people see fit to scream into the Twitter abyss are either totally cringey, borderline (or straight-up) offensive, or, at its absolute worst, maybe even both. There's also the percentage of tweets being flung around that are so basic they actually make us fume. You know what we're talking about. The banal sentim…

Happy Thanksgiving to those who celebrate in November. Thanksgiving is a day of happiness for some - namely our older family members. My family likes to do that whole thing where 30 of us sit in a circle and share what we're thankful for. The moment is one I dread. How the hell do I come up with something even remotely gratitude-adjacent when I feel like life simply sucks? It's a challenge, to be sure. But that moment isn't the only one I dread. I dread having to talk about whatever it is I was…