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Ducks won't take no for an answer

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The worst thing about animals is that they can't talk . I know there have been a couple of scientifically studied gorillas and dogs on TikTok who can say words, but that's not the same thing as talking. Humans are the only species that can speak in a grammatically coherent way, and that's a damn shame. I've had several dogs I wish I could talk to because they probably have crazy life stories. My first dog, Toby, had an extremely traumatic life before we got him. When the dog rescue found him, h…

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Only 340 days left!

The future is cow indeed

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I don't know about you, but I loved the Tim Allen movie The Shaggy Dog when I was a kid. I thought the manner in which he communicated that he was his kid's father through Scrabble was an ingenious cinematic moment. However, I didn't know that this 2006 film was actually a remake until I was in college. Me and my college roommates were obsessed with watching terrible movies on Disney +. One of those movies was the sequel to The Shaggy Dog , aptly titled, The Shaggy D.A. Instead of the original…

My baby, my baby, you're my baby

As human beings, we tend to project human emotions and attitudes onto animals. This concept is called anthropomorphism, and even though it's not scientifically sound, it's still fun to do. In my anthropomorphic opinion , cats embody a laissez-faire attitude, appearing to be unamused and uninterested in the antics of people. Dogs are the opposite. They are spunky and extroverted and want to be all up in everybody's business. Possums embody something that everyone has within them, no matter their…

If I'm being honest, Russell from Up (2009) deserved far more than just a wilderness explorer badge for his adventures with Carl. That child was a friend to the elderly and the animal kingdom more than most of us could dream of being. He had the explorer's spirit, and he did something about it. He befriended birds and dogs alike and stood up to a freaky old guy in defense of his nice old guy friend. Most of us will probably never reach such an advanced state of wilderness exploring. Sure, we ma…

If you watched the Best Picture this year, you know that one of the best animals in the animal kingdom got a starring role. Everything Everywhere All At Once featured a gag where a 'Remy the rat' esque raccoon went under a chef's hat, and his name was Raccacoonie. Imagine what kind of movie Ratatouille would have been if a raccoon was running the show. Raccoons had already gotten a star-making moment in children's animation around that time, with one starring in the middling DreamWorks comedy,…

Hot Eel City is the only city for me

Whoever said dogs were "Man's Best Friend" forgot to include penguins, raccoons , salmon, and all animals in the animal kingdom. Animals are the light of our lives. They all deserve parades and non-toxic cakes celebrating their existence. Disney's Animal Kingdom is just that; a theme park devoted to celebrating animals 365 days a year. They say it's not a zoo, but it's totally a zoo. Animal Kingdom is 33% depictions of wildlife in Asia and Africa, 33% Pandora the World of Avatar, and 33% Dinola…

Foxes are one of those animals you wouldn't mind finding in your backyard. A coyote or a wolf might pose a danger to your pets, but a fox? Those guys are so darn cute to harm anyone. Are they a weird variation of a dog? Are they a currently unknown species of cats ? Who knows! We love foxes just as they are. There are so many amazing fox movies for kids, like Wes Anderson's Fantastic Mr. Fox or the underrated Disney classic The Fox and The Hound . I have not seen either of those movies, but you…