The future is cow indeed

Ribbit ribbit

I don't know about you, but I loved the Tim Allen movie The Shaggy Dog when I was a kid. I thought the manner in which he communicated that he was his kid's father through Scrabble was an ingenious cinematic moment. However, I didn't know that this 2006 film was actually a remake until I was in college. Me and my college roommates were obsessed with watching terrible movies on Disney +. One of those movies was the sequel to The Shaggy Dog , aptly titled, The Shaggy D.A. Instead of the original…

My baby, my baby, you're my baby

As human beings, we tend to project human emotions and attitudes onto animals. This concept is called anthropomorphism, and even though it's not scientifically sound, it's still fun to do. In my anthropomorphic opinion , cats embody a laissez-faire attitude, appearing to be unamused and uninterested in the antics of people. Dogs are the opposite. They are spunky and extroverted and want to be all up in everybody's business. Possums embody something that everyone has within them, no matter their…

If I'm being honest, Russell from Up (2009) deserved far more than just a wilderness explorer badge for his adventures with Carl. That child was a friend to the elderly and the animal kingdom more than most of us could dream of being. He had the explorer's spirit, and he did something about it. He befriended birds and dogs alike and stood up to a freaky old guy in defense of his nice old guy friend. Most of us will probably never reach such an advanced state of wilderness exploring. Sure, we ma…

If you watched the Best Picture this year, you know that one of the best animals in the animal kingdom got a starring role. Everything Everywhere All At Once featured a gag where a 'Remy the rat' esque raccoon went under a chef's hat, and his name was Raccacoonie. Imagine what kind of movie Ratatouille would have been if a raccoon was running the show. Raccoons had already gotten a star-making moment in children's animation around that time, with one starring in the middling DreamWorks comedy,…

Hot Eel City is the only city for me

Whoever said dogs were "Man's Best Friend" forgot to include penguins, raccoons , salmon, and all animals in the animal kingdom. Animals are the light of our lives. They all deserve parades and non-toxic cakes celebrating their existence. Disney's Animal Kingdom is just that; a theme park devoted to celebrating animals 365 days a year. They say it's not a zoo, but it's totally a zoo. Animal Kingdom is 33% depictions of wildlife in Asia and Africa, 33% Pandora the World of Avatar, and 33% Dinola…

Foxes are one of those animals you wouldn't mind finding in your backyard. A coyote or a wolf might pose a danger to your pets, but a fox? Those guys are so darn cute to harm anyone. Are they a weird variation of a dog? Are they a currently unknown species of cats ? Who knows! We love foxes just as they are. There are so many amazing fox movies for kids, like Wes Anderson's Fantastic Mr. Fox or the underrated Disney classic The Fox and The Hound . I have not seen either of those movies, but you…

Bark Bark. Meow Meow. These are the classic sounds of the dog and the cat we all know and love. They are the most common pets for a reason, and that reason is that they are so rad. A dog will bark when they hear you coming out of the bathroom. A cat can stretch out to over three feet. These are iconic animals that I can't help but love with all of my heart. I understand why certain people do not want dogs or cats as pets. There is much more responsibility required for a feline or a canine than…

I have a question for you. Do you like animals? If you answered yes, I have a second question for you. Do you like animals that aren't just cats and dogs? If you answered yes to both of these questions, congratulations! You will probably enjoy the animal memes that lie before you. I constantly think about what it means to truly be an animal lover, and I've finally cracked the code. In the world, there are animal lovers , and then there are pet lovers. Some people are literally addicted to havin…

In 2016, the Cincinnati Zoo was in shambles. The shooting of Harambe the gorilla was one of the biggest PR nightmares any zoo has ever had, and it would take a miracle to bring this once-renowned institution back to its former glory. Luckily, on January 24th, 2017, that miracle came in the form of Fiona the Hippo. Fiona the hippo is probably the most famous hippo alive today, and she deserves every morsel of attention she's gotten. First of all, she's adorable. There's something so uniquely cut…

Not every meme is unique, and that's how it should be! Some memes work just well enough to get you to blow some air out of your nose. Some memes will make you cackle, but those are few and far between. In the meantime, it's perfectly acceptable to scroll through middling memes that aren't reinventing the wheel. As RuPaul Charles once said, "You ain't got to reinvent the wheel! The wheel is fine, girl." Nobody should be shamed for having basic taste in memes. You're probably better off for it! I…

Cuteness

Two days ago, one of the better animal-themed holidays took place. If you're an animal lover , Thanksgiving can be a difficult time for you, but Groundhog Day is a bright light that is far too underrated. We don't even get work off for the little guy! I know it's kind of silly that we listen to a groundhog's opinion on the future of weather in this country, but I wholeheartedly believe that we should have more silly animal holidays. The Easter Bunny is definitely up there as one of the goofiest…