I turned myself into a scumbag, Morty!

I have to return some videotapes

There are a lot of true crime haters in this world, and frankly, I get it! Not everybody has the temperament and the willpower to watch or listen to hours of painstakingly long and graphic content about murders . When I was a teenager, I was far more interested in true crime documentaries about kidnapping cases like Jaycee Lee Dugard or Elizabeth Smart than I was in serial killers. I was a casual 20/20 viewer, but that would rarely get as intense as the true crime media we see dominating today'…

As much as some people would like it to be, crime isn't black and white. There's nuance to breaking the law. Just look at the stories of Les Miserables or Robin Hood. The protagonists are thieves, one steals to feed his family, and the other to provide for the over-taxed and suffering poor. They're people, and crimes, we can sympathize with. While I don't think that murdering someone or burning a home down is chill, there's some law-breaking (and jokes about it) that at least inspire a bit of a…

The local news : one of my favorite sources of misinformation. For the past 10 years (and honestly, probably even longer than that), every local news station in the country has recycled the same tired warnings about drugs or razor blades being snuck into their children's Halloween candy. They broadcast images of colorful candy-like substances and tell parents to watch out, as drug dealers are dead set on secretly imbuing these devilish substances into the bodies of innocents. Of course, this is…

True crime has been among the most popular podcast genres over the past decade. Unlike shows like ‘Law & Order SUV,' which depicts police attempting to solve fictional crimes, true crime media is focused on crimes that actually happened. While true crime documentaries and books have been popular for decades, true crime podcasts are a more recent phenomenon that has blown up in popularity over the past five years. However, true crime has not been without criticism, with detractors calling it cav…

Many people are in agreement that stealing is bad. But most of those people are narcs. You know, parents, teachers , business owners. When I was younger I was into shoplifting. I would lift makeup from corporate drugstores and give the goods to girls in my homeroom in the hopes of making friends. The friendship thing didn't really pan out, and eventually I got caught trying to pocket some Maybelline mascara. All I was left with was CVS-related PTSD and anxious flashbacks whenever “Soak Up the S…

Phineas and Ferb: Criminal Masterminds

All this for a console?

There always seems to be something happening in the sunny state of Florida. Perhaps it is that there's something in the water. Or maybe the occasionally oppressive sunshine affects peoples mental well-being. Whatever the cause, pretty much everyone knows there has to be a reason that "Florida Man" headlines are so absolutely unhinged and insane. The news in the United States is consistently flooded with wild, crazy, and often depressing tales of dumb criminals committing very strange crimes. An…

Just four days after YouTuber Blake Rosier 's car got stolen, the police recovered the vehicle and arrested the bandits, but that wasn't the end of it. The car thieves left behind a chaotic mess of bizarre novelty objects, illegal drugs, food, clothing, and a bunch of other crap. Rosier documented the contents of his recovered car in a hilarious “unboxing” video. In the video, Rosier examines a handsaw and a pile of Smurfs as he wonders whether the thieves knew who he was and did it as a prank .

It's thorough

Lots of criminal dumbness in this dump.

Free money or felony waiting to happen?

If there’s one thing that romcom culture has taught us, it’s that love moves in mysterious ways. Sometimes, the person who ends up being your soulmate is the exact opposite of who you might expect, and relationships can be formed out of the most unlikely of circumstances. This prospect has been brought to the attention of Twitter recently, when singer Ari Lennox asked people on the site how they had met their partners. She was met with thousands of responses, but one in particular stood out: @c…

Cameron Herrin got 24 years and a creepy new fanbase