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Times When Kids Used Words In Ways Both Completely Wrong And Infinitely Amusing

It's easy to forget as an adult that learning new words can be really hard. There are more than a million words in the English language alone, and most of them we don't even use all that often. Add to the mix a confusing plethora of accents, contexts and associations and a kid just learning to string together sentences doesn't stand a chance.

Language acquisition is a fluid thing, and sometimes when we get things wrong we make them a little better than they were before. Other times, they make no sense whatsoever. Kids being kids, usually they fall into the latter category. At least it keeps things entertaining.

kids, children, stupid, words, language, lol, twitter, speech, funny
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Via Cracked
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United Statesians recite the Pledge of Allegiance as a patriotic way to kick off a school day, city council meeting, or bachelorette party. But even though its all-American 19th century origin at "The Youth's Companion" nobly sought to rally children and new immigrants alike behind the stars and bars, there was another sinister motive lurking underneath that indivisible chant:cold hard cash.


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16 Times Dumb Kids Were Accidental Comedians

Tiny terrors. Maniacal minions. Kids, while sometimes a total blessing, give us all a run for our money and make insane asylums seem like a sexy vacation. At their worst, their meltdowns can bring us to tears. At their best, they melt our hearts. If we're lucky, they make us laugh with their histrionic tendencies, creative threats, and inventive spelling. This gallery of snot-nosed gold includes all of the above - and might help you laugh away the pain of being a parent.

Funny kids drawings, funny parenting tweets, kid art, inventive spelling, spoiled kids, crazy kids | tweet by Aubrey Hirsch @aubreyhirsch Kid my son's class explained she sure he has two moms because he has pretty mom and other mom She described each some detail. Reader, both are. So my daughter ripped her jacket yesterday and I told her wasn't fixing Well this is lil note she left If MY Coat not Fix came home I'm gonna Step on Crack Finish rest
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Parenting Memes & Tweets For The Brave And The Exhausted

Parenting ain't easy. Between the oppressive costs of healthcare and childcare, and the effect that raising kids has on one's sanity, sometimes it feels like a losing game. And then your kid does something magical, cute, or hilarious, and it all seems worth it. These highs and lows are all well-represented in this highly relatable batch of memes for every kind of parent.

funny memes, funny tweets, parenting memes, parenting tweets, twitter, parents on twitter, parenting jokes, children, raising children | tweet by portmanteauface Parents need get better at teaching their kids swear words aren't actually bad they're just only appropriate certain contexts, this 9yo girl at grocery store just held up bag cauliflower rice and said FUCK IS THIS and she deserves fucking Oscar. warning sign Well, there's no circle thingy with slash through so guess 's okay.
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Misguided Notions From the Minds of Dumb Children

It's no secret that kids can be, well, insanely dumb. But a lot of the time, it's not their fault. We live in a bit of a backwards word where idioms can never be taken at face value, and language makes little to no sense. The lack of logic can be difficult for young brains. Hell, it can be difficult for anyone who is forced to learn the English language. But it's way more funny when children are the butt of the joke. 

Twitter user @sumerianbby managed to serve up many such tales in a very inspiring and very funny Twitter thread. After sharing an anecdote about thinking their father would die on the expiration date of his ID, other people felt compelled to share their own stupid moments from their childhoods. From parents convincing their kids that Swiss cheese is made by hiccuping cows, to thinking rehydrating in the car is drinking and driving, this thread is jam-packed with hilarity. And we've picked out all the best of these moments just for you. 

Twitter memes, dank memes, parenting, stupid kids, stupidity, failure, dumb
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23 Relatable Parenting Memes For Exhausted Moms & Dads

The pandemic has been tough on everyone, but we've gotta reserve some extra respect for all the parents out there who have been stuck working from home while their kids go to virtual school six feet away. Taking care of chaotic little humans 24/7 is an exhausting existence on a normal day, let alone during global lockdown. We've collected a bunch of relatable memes and tidbits for all the hard-working moms and dads out there who deserve a break for once. 

parenting memes, relatable memes, kids, parents, funny memes, single parent, annoying kids, children, family, memes, funny, relatable tweets
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22 Texts From The Messy World Of Parenting

Parenting is a lot of things, but it sure as hell ain't glamorous. These texts manage to capture the laughs, the exhaustion, and the poopy truths of raising children. We just hope they don't trigger you too much.

Funny parenting texts | Just found this freezer Elsa from Frozen | Dang Eleanor not going let eat raisins nakey anymore if keep putting them butt s real thing said tonight. Lol
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23 Funny Instances Of Kids Being Dumb

Some of us may not want to remember the dumb things we would do as children. Whether it was peeing into the vents of the family home (Sorry, mom) or harboring the thought that women don't poop, kids really are apt to doing (and thinking) the darndest things. The r/KidsAreFuckingStupid subreddit is full of these sorts of anecdotes, submitted by people who are marveling at their own childhood stupidity, frustrated and bemused parents, and people who may have seen a tweet they couldn't help but share. And we've got a bunch of the forum's best tidbits right here to share with you. 

Funny stories of kids being stupid, stupid kids, parenting, parenting tweets, childhood stupidity | always told people met Michael Jackson But now found picture, Maann wtf Who fuck this | Philip "Not Daddy" DeFranco @PhillyD Oh good. My son put my wireless headphones plastic container water keep them safe. good good good good good good good good good good great fine wonderful
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Amusing Instances of Kids Being Impressively Dumb

Little kids are pretty damn stupid. But to be fair, most of them have only been alive for a few years. As toddlers, we all said and did batshit ridiculous stuff that we'd never get away with now—like cutting up every extension cord in the house for absolutely no reason or burying your baby brother in a pile of flour. To be honest, we kind of envy some of these dumb kids. Wouldn't it be nice to fully indulge the sudden urge to throw a cup of soda across the room without having to worry about the consequences? Sigh. At least we can live vicariously through these laughable examples of kids being impressively stupid. 

kids being dumb, funny kids, kids memes, family, parenting, reddit, facebook, twitter, funny tweets, wholesome, relatable, things kids say
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17 Tweets About The Unforgiving Memories Of Children

Aging sucks for a lot of reasons. Having to pay bills. Work 40 hours a week. Take care of a family. You get wrinkles, grey hair, and probably some annoying memory loss to boot. Names become harder to remember, memories begin to mix together. You know who doesn't have to worry about that? Kids. Kids have the most incredible memories, often at the disadvantage of their weary parents. Twitter user @toddedillard shared one such instance of obnoxiously vivid memory yesterday. It seems that two years ago he burned a single side of his daughter's quesadilla, and she refuses to let him live it down. The tweet inspired other parents to share their own struggles with their kids' impeccable recollection skills. While it must be frustrating to have your child constantly wielding "the receipts," these anecdotes are pretty damn entertaining.

Funny memes, parenting, parenting tweets, children, tweets about the memories of children, kids
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Crafty Kid Cons Adults To Get Out Of Schoolwork

People should never underestimate the lengths someone will go to in order to get out of doing something. The effort may seem antithetical to laziness, but for responsibility-averse people, the result often remains satisfying. This advanced form of avoidance doesn't just bloom with adulthood. It's often a skill that is learned in childhood. And Twitter user @mfpiccolo recently gifted the internet with a thread that proves this scheming starts early. The story is about his niece, who like many other kids these days is attending class on Zoom. It shouldn't be surprising that the experience leaves something to be desired after enjoying ones education IRL. But while most kids have opted to slog through remote learning, this 8 year old decided to hatch a scheme that would leave her free from the oppressive bonds of online education. Her plan didn't just work - it stumped adults for weeks. The 17 tweet saga is so entertaining that Jimmy Kimmel had our little hero (and her mom) on his late night television show. But you don't have to take his (or our) word for it. The whole damn thing can be enjoyed below. 

Funny twitter thread about a kid who cons her parents, teachers, school so that she can get out of doing classes on Zoom, Jimmy Kimmel, lol, tweets
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26 People Share Dumb & Wholesome Things They Used To Believe

Kids really say (and believe) the darndest things. As a gullible kid, a friend once told me that she and her father were addicted to shawarma. She said there was nicotine in the meat and that the two of them absolutely had to get their fix daily or they'd become cranky jerks. I believed this for at least a year until my own family took me for some tasty sandwiches. 

While some AskReddit threads can featuredark and unsettling tales from peoples' pasts, this one has proved to be some seriously wholesome respite from our case of the Mondays. And is a pleasant reminder that nobody is alone in believing some seriously weird (or seriously funny) tidbits or ideas.

Wholesome stories of things people used to believe, askreddit
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As someone who was really into Korn in middle school and high school, I'm not really sure how I would have reacted to the music had I heard them in kindergarten. Well, this teacher certainly has faith that his students would respond well. His remix of 'Coming Undone' comes with a very specific goal - to teach the alphabet. It's hilarious and even kind of heartwarming, as long as the nu-metal doesn't give the children nightmares.

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Mommy Group Posts That Range From Cringey To Full Karen

As younger people abandon Facebook for Instagram and TikTok, it seems like we're more aware of all the crazies that frequent the social networking site. Some of the best places to find unhinged and ignorant people are mommy/parenting groups. There's an overwhelming number of Covid-19 nonbelievers, people who do extremely weird sh*t with breast milk, and of course - lots of talk of essential oils. If the children are our future, and they're being raised by these people, we might be more screwed than we thought. 

Funny and cringey FAcebook posts from moms, essential oils, coronavirus, covid-19, anti-mask | Does anyone sneak breast milk into their toddlers food give them an extra boost vitamins have little extra each day and think would help protect against Covid do think? 12 38 Comments O Like Comment sneak my milk into scrambled eggs good whole family lol | Them Follow childless person tells they're "tired"
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