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It felt good to be... out-of-office auto-reply? - Matty Malaprop

I mean, seriously, have you ever really LISTENED to the lyrics of "Grenade?" They exist on a level of absurd not even a warped mind like mine is acquainted with. - Matty Malaprop

What person is there to defend Sera against the Locust than a mustachio'd antihero clad in Wario Wear? - Matty Malaprop

You get it guys? Because dragons are scaly and massive, so the tramp stamp is on a massive scale... #ThisisthePartWhereCricketSoundsHappen - Matty Malaprop

... or maybe it's not. After all, nothing is ever really Morissette in stone. - Matty Malaprop

He was the last reference tool in the world, and felt like he had nothing left to lose after the pandemic took from him his beloved compass, Rose. - Matty Malaprop

Honestly, my least favorite part is Snape. I know he means well, but he always comes off as a bit of an ass. Ron's quite a stallion, though, so I guess that makes everything better. - Matty Malaprop

Hey Joe, I said where you goin' with that pen in your hand? - Matty Malaprop

Well one thing's for sure: the Black-Eyed Peas are most definitely bumble-ing their careers with the schlock they call music. - Matty Malaprop