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I mean, are they quintuplets conjoined at the boner? I'M INCREDIBLY CONFUSED BY THIS STATEMENT AND ALSO I DON'T THINK I'LL BE ABLE TO SLEEP THANKS TO THE MENTAL IMAGE I JUST CONJURED UP FOR MYSELF EWWWWWWWW. - Matty Malaprop

He was the last reference tool in the world, and felt like he had nothing left to lose after the pandemic took from him his beloved compass, Rose. - Matty Malaprop

Thank you, anonymous submitter, for providing me with this post title. I figured Jennifer Aniston was dead by the end no matter who her romantic counterpart was. HAYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOO- - Matty Malaprop

Baby, we were born to breed (but we don't have to, as Kurt has pointed out before). - Matty Malaprop

Was its name Chips Ahoy!? Well, it doesn't matter really. Just try and Hold Steady next time and you'll probably come out okay. - Matty Malaprop

I mean, chill out bro. Everyone knows Raisin Bran is better anyway (YEAH THAT'S RIGHT I SAID IT). - Matty Malaprop

It was the meowst of times, it was the purrst of times, it was the age of whiskers, it was the age of felineness, it was the epoch of lazy, it was the epic of tomfoolery, it was the season of white, it was the season of dark fur, it was the spring of catnip, it was the winter of hairballs, we had all the noms before us, we had no noms before us, we were all going direct to ceiling, we were all going the other way -- in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received... by mewing incessantly in the superlative degree of howling dog comparison only. - Matty Malaprop

... is his position on your bookshelf relative to the REAL king of The Road. - Matty Malaprop