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I mean, seriously, have you ever really LISTENED to the lyrics of "Grenade?" They exist on a level of absurd not even a warped mind like mine is acquainted with. - Matty Malaprop

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... is his position on your bookshelf relative to the REAL king of The Road. - Matty Malaprop

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What person is there to defend Sera against the Locust than a mustachio'd antihero clad in Wario Wear? - Matty Malaprop

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Thank you, anonymous submitter, for providing me with this post title. I figured Jennifer Aniston was dead by the end no matter who her romantic counterpart was. HAYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOO- - Matty Malaprop

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And all this time, here I was thinking R&B stood for rhythm and blues, when in fact it means rutabagas and beets! - Matty Malaprop

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American Idiots: (n) People who actually enjoy all non-'90s music made by Green Day. - Matty Malaprop

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Because, you know, that would just be ridiculous. Plus I'm pretty sure only 1 percent of the iTunes user base even knows what it means to shuffle by groupings. And I am not a part of that demographic. - Matty Malaprop

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I mean, chill out bro. Everyone knows Raisin Bran is better anyway (YEAH THAT'S RIGHT I SAID IT). - Matty Malaprop

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... but maybe that's just me. I'm still trying to Seuss this one out, really. - Matty Malaprop