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"I rolled Doughlden Caulfield." - Matty Malaprop

Because, you know, that would just be ridiculous. Plus I'm pretty sure only 1 percent of the iTunes user base even knows what it means to shuffle by groupings. And I am not a part of that demographic. - Matty Malaprop

THE SCHEDULE SAYS 9:13 A.M. AND YET IT ALWAYS SHOWS UP AT 9:09 A.M. AND MY LIFE IS JUST A LIE :((((((((((((((( - Matty Malaprop

Are We Not Canines? We Are Devo! - Matty Malaprop

Though I don't think anyone ever doubted his insanity... - Matty Malaprop

Well now, that wasn't very difficult at all, was it?

It felt good to be... out-of-office auto-reply? - Matty Malaprop

... or maybe it's not. After all, nothing is ever really Morissette in stone. - Matty Malaprop