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You may think you're strong, Surge, but if I can get a good Pikachu, I'll have no trouble identifying your weaknesses and grounding you right out! - Matty Malaprop

Pokémemes — Gotta catch 'em LOL!

To boldly drop the bass where no one has ever dropped the bass before. - Matty Malaprop

But then I took an arrow to The Knee, and it spent all of my money, rendering me unable to adventure since I couldn't pay for gear. - Matty Malaprop

He may seem heartless and cold, but underneath the mask he's just a sad little ginger colt who only wants to be loved. - Matty Malaprop

It cut my adventuring life short, just like I did that tree with that herring. - Matty Malaprop

It's not the facelessness that's most frightening here, it's the realization that James Earl Jones would make a TERRIFYING Slenderman voice actor. - Matty Malaprop

Man must have had a helluva time with mirrors if that was his life's M.O., amirite? - Matty Malaprop

Strangely though, even post-transformation you're still significantly less slimy than she is... #thelowblowstheycomesoeasy - Matty Malaprop

ARE YOU HAPPY WILLIAM? RICHARD FROZE TO DEATH BECAUSE OF YOUR SO-CALLED "RED-TAG SPECIAL!!!!" - Matty Malaprop

I mean, that's what he's gonna do to you the second you give him an opportunity... - Matty Malaprop

So let's all just start blaming Davy Jones for what happened in Japan and move on with our lives, shall we? - Matty Malaprop

And WHY is the rum gone? And for that matter, give me your keys, idiot. - Matty Malaprop

FUN FACT: This was actually written to be canon in the long-lost eighth Harry Potter book, Harry Potter and the Ever-Chafing Spandex Super Suit. - Matty Malaprop