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Quite conveniently, you can find them at nearly every grocery store in their adorable and easy-to-spot Raspu-tin. - Matty Malaprop

You can try all you like to flatter your coworkers, but we all know you're just a big sym-phony. - Matty Malaprop

The physics lab, on the other hand, would probably be quite a gravity-defying sight to behold! - Matty Malaprop

I guess this is just further proof that dull people can never appreciate truly sharp wit. - Matty Malaprop

See more paneled puniness over at Comixed!

You know, that theme song. - Matty Malaprop

Even big cats have issues catching the red dot, you know. - Matty Malaprop

Hypothetically speaking, does anyone know where one can acquire this cup/saucer combo? Not that I would ever purchase something like this or anything... but no seriously links to this Etsy page plz. #OhWaitLookAtTheSourceLinkYouMoron - Matty Malaprop

Maybe he and Spock Lobster can get together and start an underwater band! - Matty Malaprop

Because gods are worth it too. - Matty Malaprop

I think the answer to this question is actually quite simple. It would behoove you to not overthink it. - Matty Malaprop

Yes, pasta falsity has levels. DON'T QUESTION ME ON THIS ONE OKAY I'M ITALIAN I KNOW THESE THINGS. - Matty Malaprop

And the award for creepiest children's song ever STILL goes to... - Matty Malaprop