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It's the drink of choice to help you wash down the opiate of the masses. - Matty Malaprop

I'm a little surprised Mr. Crazy Glue is using an axe. I could have sworn his weapon of choice would be a gluemstick. - Matty Malaprop

Having a photo to remind you finally did the Jedi Mind Trick in helping you remember which droids to search out. Your Sith leader must be so proud! - Matty Malaprop

I'm sorry, Punmasters. The Bronies made me post this. I'm deeply ashamed and am now off to commit seppuku. - Matty Malaprop

Who's the Turkey now, you crazy bovine? - Matty Malaprop

Such laughable forms of punishment aren't terribly compelling reasons for repeat punfenders to repunt, if you ask me. - Matty Malaprop

That ferocious cracking sound you just heard was neither a falling tree nor the sound of a rifle's shot; it was a very adamant Z-snap from one seriously pissed off 'squatch. - Matty Malaprop

The bard truly had quite a biting wit. - Matty Malaprop

The physics lab, on the other hand, would probably be quite a gravity-defying sight to behold! - Matty Malaprop

Methinks no amount of Bounty would be able to clean up the post-coital mess that would inevitably stem from that experience. - Matty Malaprop

Happy Star Wars Day! Honor the Jedi within by checking out our Star Wars-themed Cheezburger site!

Just make sure to keep him away from any Eucalyptus products you might sell. That's just bad EV right there. - Matty Malaprop

Nothing screams koality like funny Animal Capshunz!

Next on the list: Istanbul; Is NOT Stan Bull. - Matty Malaprop