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Sure, the fuddy duddies who buy high-end tea are notorious for putting on airs, but at least now they can be lighter than them! - Matty Malaprop

Quite conveniently, you can find them at nearly every grocery store in their adorable and easy-to-spot Raspu-tin. - Matty Malaprop

And on the third day, Cheesus rose from the bottom shelf, and it was gouda. - Matty Malaprop

Seriously, you guys need to buck up. YOU GET PAID TO GET CONCUSSIONS. HOW IS YOUR JOB NOT THE BEST? - Matty Malaprop

We've got more Sooper Bowl Sooper LoLz over at The Big Game!

Who's the Turkey now, you crazy bovine? - Matty Malaprop

I guess that makes this particular Pokémon a sestuple agent? - Matty Malaprop

I'm pretty sure this comic has just inspired me to start a post-new wave neo-goth band named Werehaus. We're going to have three synthesizer players and no drummer and it's going to be AWESOME. - Matty Malaprop

Don't even ask. I'm just as confused about this as you are. - Matty Malaprop

I can hardly bear to see such a noble creature in such a sad and lonely state! - Matty Malaprop

Ain't nothin' wrong with being thorough and efficient, if you ask me. I've always been a huge fan of killing two birds with one stone. - Matty Malaprop

So basically just Billy Corgan? - Matty Malaprop

If a chibi Thor riding Nyan Cat isn't the exact from-scratch recipe for happiness, then I don't even know what is. - Matty Malaprop

You want to LOL? You should has more Cheezburger!

Jewphoria really is the only way to describe that feel when you realize jew only live once. - Matty Malaprop