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"My real ladder would let me go on the roof! You never let me do that!" - Matty Malaprop

You're free to think about it I guess, but my inkling is that the whole experience would turn out to be rather Sarlacc-ing. - Matty Malaprop

Though it was well received, it was also the record that planted the seeds of demise for Smashing Pumpkins. - Matty Malaprop

Such laughable forms of punishment aren't terribly compelling reasons for repeat punfenders to repunt, if you ask me. - Matty Malaprop

Transfiguration is cool and all, but I woodn't be so happy about becoming a thing for people to sit on if I was this tree. - Matty Malaprop

Screw that one house with the badgers. And that one with the griffins. And especially that one with the snakes. This is clearly the best option. - Matty Malaprop

My only hope is that he has a sidekick named Robonobo. - Matty Malaprop

BUT YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO DRINK IT ALL / NOT EVEN LEAVE A SPLASH FOR MY MORNING COFFEE / GUESS THAT I DON'T NEED MILK THOUGH / I'LL JUST DRINK IT BLACK BEFORE IT STARTS TO GET COLD. #CapsLockB/CGotye'sAlwaysShouting - Matty Malaprop

Is double crowning a real thing? HOW DO I PAGEANT-SPEAK? - Matty Malaprop

Ain't nothin' wrong with being thorough and efficient, if you ask me. I've always been a huge fan of killing two birds with one stone. - Matty Malaprop