idiom

If you're going to wind up embroiled in a sketchy ponzi scheme, you might as well milk it for all it's worth. - Matty Malaprop

Side effects may include: cowardice, canine DNA and fleas. - Matty Malaprop

And then she shouted "BAYER WITH ME!" ... and everyone turned into aspirin. - Matty Malaprop

... or at least the fuzziest, amirite? - Matty Malaprop

Some may call it infatuation, but I'm pretty sure it's actually just vertigo. - Matty Malaprop

On a scale of one to 10, this date was a total FAIL.

Please, someone, Rule 34 this. Don't post it on this site. Don't e-mail it to me. Just do it please, so that I'll know in the back of my mind that it's been done. - Matty Malaprop

Or at least math in my cray-cray brain-parts. - Matty Malaprop

Poland's got the right idea, if you ask me. Ain't nobody way to rectify the spirit than with rectified spirits! - Matty Malaprop

You have a job, but it doesn't feel like a career... you live in a house, but it seldom feels like a Homer... man, BEING ALIVE IS REALLY ROUGH. - Matty Malaprop

I mean, that IS the moral of "The Tortoise and the Hare," right? Right? - Matty Malaprop

I mean, it makes sense to keep such a quantity of bills in the fridge though. After all, no one ever wants their assets to be frozen. - Matty Malaprop

If his ego is gigallontic already, I'd hate to see him full to the brim... - Matty Malaprop

Ohhhhhhhh so that's like a rules hound I guess? Well I regret to inform these coiffed canines that THERE ARE NO RULES IN NOM. - Matty Malaprop

I guess mine doesn't have quite the same ring to it... - Matty Malaprop