classic

classic double meaning literalism plane snakes snakes on a plane - 6568049408
By Sup123
  • -
  • Vote
  • -

It's been done a dozen times, I know, but Samuel L. Jackson keeps threatening physical harm against me every time I express uncertainty about posting puns that could be related to him... and so that's why this is here now OH GOD SAMMY I'M SORRY NO I DON'T THINK YOU OR ANY OF YOUR FRIENDS LOOK LIKE A B*TCH. - Matty Malaprop

question answer conversation human literalism stuffed sandwich food classic offer wolf - 7138813184
By Unknown
  • -
  • Vote
  • -

The man then proceeded to wolf down his meal while his animal friends stood by, bearly able to watch such a gruesome spectacle. - Matty Malaprop

classic double meaning homophone literalism robbery runner similar sounding strawberry suffix - 6394452224
  • -
  • Vote
  • -

See? It's funny because strawberries produce runners and that is also a term that can be applied to people who flee police pursuit LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL #OkayThat'sNotReallyVeryFunnyAtAll - Matty Malaprop

angry classic double meaning family ladder prefix step step ladder - 6537597952
Via Punblr
  • -
  • Vote
  • -

"My real ladder would let me go on the roof! You never let me do that!" - Matty Malaprop

the Beatles gloves john lennon similar sounding advice All you need is love classic - 6877907200
  • -
  • Vote
  • -

He is the walrus. And also Captain Obvious (who leads under the direction of Sgt. Pepper, naturally). - Matty Malaprop

classic doctors emergency room horse prognosis stable - 6492737280
  • -
  • Vote
  • -

To respond to hongalabongala's original write-up: yes, this has been posted before, but I'm posting it again because ASSHORSES ARE NEVER NOT FUNNY. - Matty Malaprop

big classic double meaning energy fan Hall of Fame literalism renewable - 6324098304
Via Reddit
  • -
  • Vote
  • -

I'm also pretty into renewable energy, but my activist days are over. All that shouting and preaching left me terribly winded. - Matty Malaprop

quarters swallowed nurse doctor literalism no change change status condition double meaning classic - 6712134656
  • -
  • Vote
  • -

And this right here is why I always get a little irked when doctors try and get cheeky with their 25 cents worth. - Matty Malaprop