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Creative Posts From Internet Poets

Was "reading more" one of your failed New Year's resolutions? Well, we're going to let you in on a little secret: you don't have to buy books to indulge in the creativity of wordsmiths. Turns out that you can consume clever witticisms all over the internet. You just have to know where to look. Fortunately, the subreddit r/brandnewsentence makes that mission a little easier. It's a veritable hub of quirky writing that's been harvested from Twitter, Tumblr, and even the dreaded hellscape that is Facebook. We've put together some of their finest examples of creative writing, but there's loads more where these came from. Hell, they may even inspire you to get a little more funky with your own posts. Go crazy. We're here for a good time, not a boring time.

Funny memes, tweets, and tumblr posts collected from Reddit, r/brandnewsentence | Molly Hodgdon @Manglewood His kiss slow, but firm and unyielding like an old man backing his Lincoln Town OCar over handicapped parking sign. | Dylan Sprouse @dylansprouse Happy two year anniversary. Here's us looking more alike with each passing year until single beast with four arms and four legs runs at top speed 50mph and screams like baboon at nearby travelers trespassing into our woods many more!
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Game 1 of the World Series Happened Last Night and Naturally Everyone Took to the Internet

Aside from Game 1 ending after a record-setting 14 innings, Fox News had some "technical difficulties" and there was a mysterious lady in a fur hat sitting behind home plate that stole everyone's attention.

twitter sports FAIL list World Series fox baseball - 667141
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'Credit Card Declines' Memes Imagine Salty Instances Of Revenge

We're proud to say that it's not often our card gets declined. Usually it's because our bank has mistakenly flagged a purchase as suspicious due to travel or (gulp) overspending. The few times there's been an issue, baristas kindle wave away apologies and we walk away with a free coffee. But what if they weren't so kind? What if the people who provide us with paid services actually decided to get...revenge

The "Imagine Your Card Declines" Twitter meme explored this theme back in early September, but Redditors have been expanding on it by adding amusing images. Most of the "Credit Card Declines" memes imagine folks such as tattoo artists or therapists "undoing" their work as a consequence of nonpayment. They're obviously ridiculous, but seem to be pretty damn appealing to the internet. We've put together some of our favorite examples of the format, but you can read more about its origins over at Know Your Meme. 

Funny dank memes, credit card declines memes, reddit memes, therapy, tattoo artists | Tattoo artist tattoo is done. Credit card *declines* Tattoo artist : peeling potato | Doctor removed bullet skull My card declines Doctor made with mematic person pointing gun at themselves
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Twitter Thread: Cheesecake Factory is A World of Contradictions

Anyone can tell you that The Cheesecake Factory is a building full of paradoxes. It's like it's telling you with all its heart that it wants to be fancy with all the lighting and the columns, and then you sit down and drink out of a plastic cup. Cheesecake is great, but the place itself really makes you think "how does this place still exist?" Maybe it fits the bill of "a place people can agree to go to." @MaxKreigerVG got extremely deep about America's gaudiest Cheesecake vendor.

Twitter thread on weirdness of The Cheesecake Factory | max sledroom @MaxKrie If want fully immersive "postmodern design hellscape" themed dining experience highly recommend dinner at Cheesecake Factory design perspective place is fuckin wild and talk little bit about why | max sledroom @Max 12h v interior is world aesthetic chaos feels like mix between Fry's Electronics, an overgrown Panera, and laser tag arena s sensational Palm trees sit aside 2000's-chic glass lighting fixtures, French limes
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