Vancouver Hooligan Totally Looks Like Ken's Hurricane Kick
LeBron James and Dwayne Wade Totally Look Like Crybabies
Hush, little players, don't you cry Your agent's gonna get you an extra million-point-five And if that money isn't enough He'll get you more endorsements and other stuff
Calgary Flames New Uniform Totally Looks Like Gryffindor Unifrorms
Hockey would be so much more interesting if the players rode around on their little sticks, like wizards on brooms. Oh, who am I kidding: Sports are boring no matter what!