Frank Ribery Totally Looks Like Quasimodo

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Frank Ribery Totally Looks Like Quasimodo
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Frank Ribery Totally Looks Like Quasimodo

Why is it that even ugly dudes with good careers like "football player" and "bell ringer" get more action than a dashing, unf-worthy gentleman like me? Is it because I write things like "unf-worthy"?