Ben Roethlisberger Totally Looks Like Jesse James

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sports,TLL,jesse james,football,ben roethlisberger,funny
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Espn's John Clayton Totally Looks Like South Park's Mr. Mackey

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cartoons,John Clayton,Mr Mackey,South Park,sports
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This pied-billed grebe chick Totally Looks Like a Mexican wrestler

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animals,bird,chick,mask,mexican wrestler,pied-billed grebe,sports,wrestler
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Cleveland Browns Totally Looks Like Tootsie Rolls

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candy,cleveland browns,football,sports,tootsie rolls
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This fan Totally Looks Like The Gorden Fish Stick Guy

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fan,fish sticks,food,football,gortons-fisherman,green bay,sports
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These Sports Fields Totally Looks Like "Scream" Movie Mask

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field,ghostface,horror,mask,movies,scream,sports
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Frank Ribery Totally Looks Like Quasimodo

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frank ribery,quasimodo,sports,The Hunchback of Notre-Dame
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Frank Ribery Totally Looks Like Quasimodo

Why is it that even ugly dudes with good careers like "football player" and "bell ringer" get more action than a dashing, unf-worthy gentleman like me? Is it because I write things like "unf-worthy"?