Aaaaaaaaaand Cue That GODAWFUL AND UNBEARABLY OBNOXIOUS Whistling

Favorite
Aaaaaaaaaand Cue That GODAWFUL AND UNBEARABLY OBNOXIOUS Whistling
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Do you think if I shatter a Maroon 5 CD like a Jäger bottle, I'll wake up hungover and realize the existence of that song was just a bad, drunk dream? Fingers and liver crossed... - Matty Malaprop

I (Tell-Tale) Heart This Song!

Favorite
I (Tell-Tale) Heart This Song!
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Bohemian and rhapsodic aren't the first words I usually use to describe Poe's body of work, but if the song fits, wear it? - Matty Malaprop

Maybe You Can Coax Him Out of Hiding With Some B•tches Brew?

Favorite
Maybe You Can Coax Him Out of Hiding With Some B•tches Brew?
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If he seems mopey when you find him, don't worry too much about it. He's always been Kind of Blue. - Matty Malaprop

Funny You Should Ask...

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Funny You Should Ask...
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It's actually refreshing, that question. Everyone just assumes I'm jam or preserves and moves on with it! Do you know how much it hurts to live your life misclassified? - Matty Malaprop

Shrimp on the Barbie

Favorite
Shrimp on the Barbie
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Looks to me like Barbie finally got some tail! - Matty Malaprop

Shrimp On the Barbie!

Favorite
Shrimp On the Barbie!
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... but just long enough to blanche them. If you Kendoll the flame too much, you might singe their blonde tips! - Matty Malaprop