Is it Leprous?

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Is it Leprous?
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Oh man, you're right! This pie looks terribly unwell... just look at those red spots pepperoni-ing his skin! - Matty Malaprop

Post-Traumatic Bake Disorder

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Post-Traumatic Bake Disorder
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It's not all bad though. At the very least, they discharged him from the U.S. Oven with a Purple Heart baked into his frosting uniform. - Matty Malaprop

Ugh, He's Seriously the BrautWORST.

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Ugh, He's Seriously the BrautWORST.
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If I were you, I'd totally roast this guy for the 'tude he's giving you right now, bro. - Matty Malaprop

Maybe You Can Coax Him Out of Hiding With Some B•tches Brew?

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Maybe You Can Coax Him Out of Hiding With Some B•tches Brew?
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If he seems mopey when you find him, don't worry too much about it. He's always been Kind of Blue. - Matty Malaprop