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Via: Married to the Sea
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It's actually refreshing, that question. Everyone just assumes I'm jam or preserves and moves on with it! Do you know how much it hurts to live your life misclassified? - Matty Malaprop

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Fortunately (unfortunately?), man's best friend is more or less man's worst drug. Unless you're a crazy dog person, but that's just silly. - Matty Malaprop

Love LOLcats? Who doesn't?! There are so many more over here!

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By Unknown
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I mean, I know in your glory days there was no other soul who could ply like you, but you seem to have gotten a little rusty with age... - Matty Malaprop

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I mean, only gamma-enhanced semen could penetrate her alcoholic lining, OBVIOUSLY. - Matty Malaprop