slang

Via: Reddit
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Do you think if I shatter a Maroon 5 CD like a Jäger bottle, I'll wake up hungover and realize the existence of that song was just a bad, drunk dream? Fingers and liver crossed... - Matty Malaprop

By Rachael Fogel
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Looks to me like Barbie finally got some tail! - Matty Malaprop

C'mere goggie...we iz gonna makez sum monies
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Fortunately (unfortunately?), man's best friend is more or less man's worst drug. Unless you're a crazy dog person, but that's just silly. - Matty Malaprop

Love LOLcats? Who doesn't?! There are so many more over here!

Via: Ancient-Goon
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Air Jordans might be more expensive, but this guy knows you can't beat shoes that are kid-tested and mother-approved! - Matty Malaprop

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I remember one time in college when I saw a "Leggo my Eggo!" commercial after having just finished a paper on Friedrich Nietzsche, and in my state of post-essay exhaustion I misheard the quote as "Leggo my Ego!" and was thoroughly creeped out and confused. #CoolStoryBro - Matty Malaprop

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By xyzpdq1
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... and that circumstance would be if his name was Fuddyduddy Fop. #HaveIMentionedILoveTheTermFuddyDuddy? - Matty Malaprop

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You won't ever catch me at something like this. Personally I think these kind of people are bandits — the whole lot of them! - Matty Malaprop